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FYI...There is a story about leadership about 1/2 way through this message, that you will not want to miss. Be sure to read all the way down to it, in order to get the full effect here...
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When I first got started in Network Marketing and developed the skills to enroll people into my organization every week, the one area that I fell short of success was in my leadership.
Sure, I could bring them in no problem, but knowing how to lead them was a whole different animal.
My biggest fault at that time in my career was that I was a "people pleaser".
I babied everyone.
I did my best to make it as easy as possible for my new recruits, in fear that if I told them what they really had to do in order to succeed, they'd quit working with me and drop out of my business.
Basically, I was in fear of losing someone who I never even had.
Well sure enough, even when I did baby them, that was the end result for most of them.
They left, blaming me for my lack of support, the company for its comp plan, the tools for their lack of persuassion and whomever and whatever they could point their finger to.
I realized after dozens of people I sponsored left on these same terms, that no matter what I did, most of them weren't going to make it no matter who their sponsor was, how good the tools or comp plan were or what the modus operandi was.
Truly, I was sick of the turnover after investing hundreds of hours into other people's success.
I later found out that when you want success more for someone else than they want it for themself that this is first sign to end the student/mentor relationship, because there really isn't any. PLUS, it's not healthy to want it more for others than they want it for themself.
Until I reached this threshold, I would keep on enrolling constantly, just to keep up with the turnover.
I then changed my focus to better communicators, people who had better jobs, who were just flat out disgusted with their lives but who were willing to do something about it immediately - people with larger influence than I did and who had better skills.
Once I began sponsoring UP, my business started changing.
Over the years, as I started being less attached to the new people I enrolled into my business, I learned some very valuable lessons about leadership.
The biggest lesson I learned, over time, after many years of trial and error, is that if you become everything to everyone, do everything for everyone and be the go-to guy or gal to everyone all the time, you wind up with a Co-Dependent Organization of people who will never make it long term in their business.
Sure, it's important to always give value to others, but the best value you can give them is to point them in the right direction and teach them to be Self Accountable, Step Up and become an Independent and Self Functioning Business Owner.
With all the tools and systems available today, it hardly even matters who your sponsor is. If they want it badly enough, they will do what it takes to succeed. The evidence already points to this as many a Top Earner has horror stories of low grade sponsorship.
So, to become a better leader yourself, don't fall into the trap of doing for others what they must learn to do for themselves.
The same goes for you, if you want to become a great leader.
Instead of calling upline or sideline for every little thing that you can't figure out right away, call on your higher self to come up with the solutions.
Ask yourself, "If I was a leader, what would I do"?
Remember, you must first think like a leader, to become one.
You don't become a leader first and then start thinking like one.
Use the tools. Learn the information available in your Back Office of whatever Online System you use.
Exhaust all the options before running scared.
There is hardly ever an emergency in home based business that can't be figured out with a focus and determination to come up with the solution.
If the answer you seek is not found in the training documents and you call a leader and they are not available to answer your question, answer it yourself.
Take a risk.
Do something out of the ordinary.
Be different.
Don't look for approval by anyone else.
Remember, if you are trying to make everyone happy, you are not leading.
The ones who appreciate you and what you do, will follow.
The rest, will not. And that is fine.
No worries.
There is nothing wrong here.
There are pleny of people to lead. The market is wide open when it comes to leadership.
But if you don't start leading yourself, how in the world will you ever learn to lead others?
Ok, so here is my favorite Story about Leadership & Accountability:
A young boy was walking in the woods one day when he came across a cocoon spun around a small twig.
Remembering that inside a cocoon was a catepillar that would soon emerge as a butterfly, he carried the twig and cocoon home very carefully to show his dad.
They gently placed the cocoon in a jar, poked holes in the lid and waited patiently.
Each day, the boy would wake up and run to the jar to see if the catepillar had turned into a butterfly.
"Nothing yet today son", his dad told him. "When the catepillar is ready, it will start breaking free."
One morning the boy ran to the jar and saw the cocoon shaking.
He called for his dad and together the two of them witnessed the cocoon starting to open up.
The boy could see a small wing emerge.
But he also saw the butterfly was shaking profusely to break through.
It seemed that although the butterfuly wanted to get out of the cocoon, it was struggling.
The boy ran off and quickly returned with a small utility knife. He reached for the cocoon and sliced a hole in its side.
Sure enough, this help the boy gave the butterfuly allowed the small insect to break free.
Stragely enough to the boy, the butterfly didn't do anything but walk around the rim of the jar.
It didn't fly.
It just slowly walked around the opening of the jar and stood there looking around.
The boy was shocked and disappointed.
"Why isn't it flying, dad", the boy asked.
His dad responded, "The very strength that it would have taken for the butterfly to break out of its cocoon, is the same strength that it needed in order to spread its wings and fly."
So, the moral to the story is...
Start learning to solve your own challenges.
Don't rely on others to slice your cocoon open, because even if they do, you will not have the strength to fly on your own.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be at all times.
Even if you think you deserve more, you are getting exactly what you're skills and value dictate in the marketplace. Don't try to rush your progress or you will miss out on many of the true gifts that come with becoming successful.
Start learning to solve your own challenges.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't speak with your leaders to keep them up to speed on your progress.
You will learn a lot from them by doing 3 way calls and tapping into them for knowledge that you cannot find in the training materials or on live calls and webinars.
This knowledge usually comes in conversation when you are sharing with them how your business is going.
However, when you have questions, before you go acting like you don't know how to proceed, ask yourself the same question as though you were the leader and had to answer it for someone else on your team.
What if you had a team of 10, 20, 30 thousand people and you were the leader; what would you do? How would you act? What solutions would you implement to overcome whatever puzzled you?
In the long run, you will become such a powerful leader because you solve your own problems, that you will be able to teach the same philosophy to others.
And that is what will breed confidence, success and leadership into your organization and will allow you and your team to attract great people who are solution oriented and who will also sponsor UP!
So, make today one that counts, come up with some clever solutions today and look for another message from me again soon.
Warm regards,
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Aaron Rashkin is a Home Based Business Professional who has been referred to as a Master Prospector & Team Builder by his peers, including many Industry Experts. To receive his "To the Top" Newsletter, Top 10 Success Principles, HOT Leadership Tips & Best of the Best Prospecting Training Series, visit his personal website at
http://www.AaronRashkin.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comments
I'd like to add
By doing everything for everyone you are actually doing them a disservice in the long term. If it's all laid out for them, they have no reason to learn it and will never be able to reach their full potential.
I had this conversation just a week or so ago, with someone who was asking whether they should creat a capture page for folks in their team. You don't have time to do this stuff for everybody, and by doing it what you're really saying to them is:
"I will do this because you can't. I will do this because I don't trust you to learn how to do it yourself. I will do this because you will just mess it up..."
I'm all for helping people and pointing them in the right direction, but if they're not willing to 'do the doing' themselves, then they're not the type of person I want to work with.
Susan
I love the story!
Aaron,
Thanks for the excellent advice and GREAT story!
I think that many people will let you do as much for them as you are willing. I have run into a lot of "leaders" out there that have babied their team and then when they want to step back so their team members will fly on their own, they start complaining about how dependent they are and how they don't seem to want to do anything for themselves.
I believe a good leader should always be willing to take a critical look at their own leadership style when they find themselves dissatisfied with their team.
To Your Success!
Susan MacQuarrie
http://www.cashgiftingnurse.com
Great Advice
Excellent article and great story! I want to become a leader and this puts alot into perspective as I won't rush my progress.
http://www.u1stfinancial.net/simonehardy
Big Lesson Here For Moi!
Synchronisity...
I'm sure you just emerged from inside my head & wrote my last weeks lesson in life!
As I jog each day up the beach, I think of this as I see the butterflies & birds around me, doing their thing, so beautifully.
I think how sad it would be if we all became so "Compassionate" about helping people/birds/butterflies.
A leader, I guess, has really to take the lead & slash thru' the undergrowth to create the way for the others to follow, so I guess if "he" stayed back & helped the "followers" to build their nests/houses/businesses there would be no forward movement.
Hmmn...very good food for thought.
Mary
You can lead a horse to water...
Aaron,
Suscinct, to the point, thanks! A leader's responsibility to his team are to share their vision, build their business the right way, and provide their expertise. I totally agree with everyone who wrote in essence; for your business to grow, first the leader(s) must grow. Your business will only be as big as your vision.
Thanks again!
Bob (Long Island, NY)
After 3 years....I have finally learned!
Aaron...this is a WINNER!!
I have been in networking for 3+ years, but it wasn't until April of this year that this lesson really hit home. I had to learn the exhausting way that I had to keep the proper perspective of what my role was with my team. Many of us nurturers find ourselves serving as pseudo-psychiatrists/counselors before long if we don't get a grip on that role. I found myself at a point where I was doing more for my team that didn't even have anything to do with business. It's a dangerous formula that can lead to burn out and attrition.
When I started serving in my role of business MENTOR and focused on business...letting them do their own PD and come to me with at least one solution for each of their challenges...things really started to change.
I realized a big lessson in this from another view. We don't want to do everything for our teams. The sooner they learn on their own to duplicate the system, the sooner they begin producing and reduplicating which leads them to their goals and ours.
My team and I are having fun now and reaching our goals...simply started by me serving my team the way that they deserved to be...in the right way!
???
Hey Steven, what does this have to do with Aaron's article...if you want to advertise...please use the business opportunities section.
Thank you for sharing
Aaron -
Thank you so much for sharing this. I think too often we want to rush things for ourselves and others and in doing so we miss out on building the tools we need to in order to survive. I love the little boy and the butterfly example.
Thank you
-Stefanie
http://www.networkingprosperity.com
Love the lesson in the story.
Love the story of the butterfly and how it applies to our skils as leaders. I had a mentor tell me one time that sometimes we just have to let people hit their head against the brick wall a couple of times and then they will be ready to learn. Sort of like the old proverb "When the strudent is ready the teacher will appear."
Have a Big Vision....
Michael Head
Amazing!
Loved it!
Leaders leading from the front...
It's interesting to see how some people know early in the piece they are a leader & have no fear or favour regarding the role!
Was just reading a book this morning about leaders and the "responsibility they have to society".
Wallace Wattles, in his 1908 classic, mentioned the responsibility we have in this regard too.
I have not been around people who are so openly aware of the differences, it's really great to be mentored by everyone speaking about this in a perfectly natural way!
I'm really chuffed to be visiting with you all here in this medium...still don't know if what I'm writing here is called a post or what yet, but I'm sure some leader will inform me...please!!!
Thanks
Mary
Scary, Exciting, Empowering!
Aaron,
You wrote: "You are exactly where you are supposed to be at all times" I have to calm myself down sometimes at times by reminding myself how frustratingly true this statement is. I read it three times before moving to the next sentence!
I love this article, it adds so much value to our community. Thank you for sharing.
Malika
Magnetic Sponsoring and Building-On-A-Budget for dummies? Learn Attraction Marketing click-by-click www.recessionproofincome.com InterNetwork Marketing = www.GetPaidToProspectOnline.com
Yeah, Dude!
That "you are exactly where you are supposed to be at all times" has to be the cure for depression, insanity, fear, and anything else that goes adrift in us all at anytime.
How comforting & exciting it is to know EVERYTHING we do is geared towards our upward growth, ongoing at that. Wow...
IF we acknowledge it!
Yeahhhhhyyy dude, how fun is that? so even at any time in our life, nature is always there to implant our growth upwards when we're ready!
Who said we came from monkeys?
Malika Duke, you rock!
Mary
Yes but
The reason I feel 98 percent fail in this industry is neglect. I have never been sposered by any one that had a duplicatable system to plug me in to. Now that I have one I am one of the 98 percent that was suppose to fail. However with good coaching not coddling I Came out the other end the Leader I am now. But without a proven duplicatable system I would not of even know that I was in a cocoon. I would of stayed there and rotted. I had Lost 20,000 on these recruiters. And gained back my wings with Mentoring for Free. and my dignity.
Your friend for life Juanita Waterman
file://c:/Users/Juanita/AppData/Local/Temp/Low/__SkypeIEToolbar_Cache/e7...
)" onclick="javascript:skype_tb_SwitchDrop(this,'0','sms=1');return skype_tb_stopEvents();" onmouseout="javascript:doSkypeFlag(this,'0',0,1,16,0);" skypeid="0" skypeaction="drop" skypesms="1">file://c:/Users/Juanita/AppData/Local/Temp/Low/__SkypeIEToolbar_Cache/e7...)"> 207 592 5524Great Story...
Aaron,
Sponsoring UP is the struggle to break free from sponsoring the wrong group of people! Leaders "point them in the right direction" not provide answers. Until I stopped being the answer man and quit promoting an organization of Lone Rangers I always reached a point where more got out in one month than I had put in the previous two. There is more to it of course but the Law of Association is a powerful law and your article does a great job of providing insight and a path to be all you can be.
The story will surely make the rounds this next month!
I asked a question...
.....and it was the wrong Question!
After my 30 day training Plan, I asked, "What do I do next?"
It took me while to realize that this was up to ME!
Have now broken out of my Cocoon. Up up up and away........
INTERESTING facts about Metamorphosis...
Interestingly in insects, the timing of Metamorphosis is influenced by environmental factors such as temperature,humidity, photoperiod, pheromone production by neighboring individuals, and the nutritional quality of the diet. In a number of species, larvae can undergo developmental arrest (a diapause) in response to unfavorable environmental conditions, so that metamorphosis can be delayed for many months or even years.
Let's try adapt this to Network Marketers...
Interestingly in Network Marketeers, the timing of Metamorphosis (the transition from follower to Leader) is influenced by environmental factors such as hard work (action), sweat, hours worked, determination, attitude, like minded peers, positive influence and mentoring by good leaders/mentors, and the educational quality of the training. In a number of MLM species, new associates can undergo developmental arrest (a diapause) in response to unfavorable organisational conditions, so that metamorphosis (into a leader) can be delayed for many months or even years (or never).
If you don't have all the right conditions for your metamorphosis into a leader - make a plan/change today! . . . Like Aaron said, some challenges you have to solve yourself
Here's to your Metamorphosis and Ultimate Success - GO FOR IT!
Excellent Article!
Great article I have to say. I remember being taught the story of the caterpillar and it's coccoon.
Well, the one I was taught is that being in any network marketing business is just like a coccoon, the training resouces and tools are there for us to learn - the learning process is the period where we are all coccoons. Only when we are all ready to grow, we'd break out of the coccoon and become wonderful butterflies.
I have to mention that the form of leadership is great. We should not depend too much on our leaders for everything and vice versa, a leader should be able to provide the knowledge to his business partners to have confidence to begin. Just like most animals, the mother guides its hatchling to fly, and once it can. It is left alone.
Enjoyed your article thoroughly!
Regards,
Darren Spruyt
The Network Marketing Internet Business Resource
Thank You!
I want to fly! It is encouraging to know that at times the process can be a bit of a struggle, perhaps painful, with lessons driven home. Thank you for the insight, it was so very helpful.
Connie Loeschen
Always Follow Your Bliss!
712-461-0856
Free Tools to Succeed in MLM
Thank you for the awesome
Thank you for the awesome article. I will be sharing this with the leaders I have on my team. Again thank you...
Thank you!
I enjoyed your story! Thanks you for sharing it.
Melinda
Great Analogy
I was never one for parables, but that was a great analogy. It really hit home and made sense and reinforces the question about self commitment.
Sometimes we want nothing more than help breaking out of the cocoon, but in the end that could be the worst possible thing.
Thanks for putting things in perspective.
Thank You
Being new to the business, I am always trying to understand and educate myself to the workings of MLM. It is so nice to put words to these new and unfamiliar thoughts and ideas about how to make my business become sucessful. Thank you for putting things in perspective.
I Just Love The Story and The Message
Aaron,
The cocoon story is so relevant to network marketing, to life and to our current national economic mess. Even though you wrote the article months ago, I hope that it will continually resurface for people to read. As people learn to be leaders and take that role in their organization and in their interactions, they open themselves up for so many unforseen opportunities and situations to present themselves.
"You are exactly where you are supposed to be at all times"
As you so eloquently stated and Malika seconded.
You may think you know what's going to happen next, but ......Recently I was approached to explore a potential sitaution that is light years beyond the type of opportunity I thought I'd see for at least five years. It came out of the blue and all due, I believe, to stepping forward as a leader in my company, my organization and my profession over the past 8 months. Regardless of the outcome, it is such a clear message to me that being a leader, exhuding confidence, taking responsibility for ones own education, mentoring others, researching for answers, and all the other things that true leaders do...can lead to wonderful and unexpected places for all.
Deborah
Hungry for More!
Awesome stuff, Thanks
Leaders Evolve!
So do butterflies.... from cocoons they come!
The confidence you mention, Deborah, is the compelling allurant, the magnetic pull, we have as humans, towards a leader.
It's part of our biology, I read, for ultimate survival!
Thank you for the great article Aaron
Thanks for the Article. I love people that can take the truth and put it into simple terms for people to absorb quickly and at a high level.
Joshua Boxer
www.mlmoutlawz.com