BetterNetworker.com and Picking-up at a Bar?

Boy, I think my girlfriend is going to kill me, if she ever finds this article.  One thing is for sure, any political aspirations I may have had are now toast.

Either way, someone has to tell the truth around here so it might as well be me.

This past Saturday, I attended an all day Leadership workshop.  Part of the workshop was to draw up a game plan for the week and work it.  Your game plan has to do with coming out of your comfort zone and doing something extraordinary as it relates to a community project we are working on.

Well one of my fellow participants, Carl, was trying to break out of his shell and invented the possibility of meeting a woman, having the courage to talk to her and overcome his fear of rejection. 

So a few of the guys there had some history of success in that department and took upon themselves to coach Carl and produce results that same night -- one of them had a girlfriend, and the other was married, so they were also living vicariously through Carl. 

I tagged along because a beer sounded like a good idea after along day of working on my leadership skills and I like watching train wrecks, but I did add value to Carl by giving him some of my MLM prospecting pointers. ;)

The Night Begins at Sharkeez

So we went down to Sharkeez in Manhattan Beach, Ca., grabbed a pitcher of beer and started coaching Carl and holding him accountable for taking action. 

First thing he needed to do was just overcome his fear and just have a simple conversation.  So he walked over to someone and had a 20 second conversation, then scooted back over to the table we were at.

First Victory: Open your mouth.

So now that we knew he was willing to take action, we set out to create a specific game plan.  Now this is where you need to listen closely, because if you want to have any shot at using the Better Networker community to grow your business, then this game plan is for you too.

I’ll be explaining what we told Carl, then translate that to how it works for using BetterNetworker.com to grow your business.

Step 1: Have something interesting or of value to share

Carl wanted advice on what he should talk about when he starts a conversation with a woman. 

Well, since part of the Leadership workshop included a community project,  we simply said, “Talk about your project.  Share with her what you are up to and why it means so much to you.  Be genuine.”

Now this was key advice, because it allowed Carl to be himself, talk about something he cares about, while at the same time being different from all the other sleaze balls at the bar.

So he walked up to one of the women at the bar and started sharing.  It was incredible, she was totally into the conversation.  I’m willing to bet $1,000 that no one has ever walked up to her and started sharing with her about a community project. 

He talked to her for a few minutes, then excused himself and returned to our table.

For the Better Networker Members

Everyday on this community you have an abundant number of opportunities to do the same thing Carl did.  There are new members coming in every day.  One thing that has produced results for me is checking out a new members profile, reading their profile, watch any videos or articles they may have posted, then send them a private message introducing myself and giving them REAL advice on how they can use Magnetic Sponsoring or other funded proposals to grow their business.

For example, there was someone on this community who was a fan of Dennis Karganilla and I had just finished having a training call with Dennis for our Attraction Marketing Formula subscribers.  I sent her a message, saying that I enjoyed her video and that if she was serious about using Social Networking to market her business, then BetterNetworker.com was the perfect place to apply the things she was learning from Dennis.

She responded and asked how she could do that?  So I replied and explained how to use BN.com effectively, based on my experience.  A couple of days later, she opted into my list and became a customer, and she was happy to do so.

People really appreciate unsolicited advice in this environment, because 90% of members on this community are asking themselves the same question, “How do I use MS.com to grow my business?” Answer that question and you are an ‘Instant Leader’. 

Be sure to be specific in your answers and DON’T talk about your business.

Note: The following are universal principles and can be applied by women, also.

Step 2: Leave on a High Note and Leave Early

Carl was very proud of himself, but the work was not done yet.  Carl did something that was key to his success in attracting someone of the opposite sex – he stopped the conversation at its peak and excused himself.  We told him it was good that he did that. 

You don’t want to stick around too long, because no matter how cool you are, she’ll eventually get tired of talking to you.  Leave her hanging and leave on a high note. 

Most other guys will keep talking to her until the conversation fizzles out and the magic is dead.  Sticking around too long will also give the impression that you are desperate.

By leaving early, she’ll be more likely to want to talk to you again.  When she gets tired of getting approached by the other sleaze balls, she’ll think of you again.

For Better Networker Members

After you’ve provided value to one person, move on with other activities in your business. Don’t expect a reply and don’t be attached to an outcome.  

In fact, if you really want to be effective, put yourself in a mindset of giving.  What this means is exactly what Mike Dillard talks about in his Magnetic Sponsoring course:

“Give Without Want, Before You Can Have”

Notice how it doesn’t say, “Give with want and you will have.”

You must be totally satisfied and happy if you never hear from that person again.  Just be happy that you were able to help someone and move on.  What is likely to happen is that they will feel they can trust you and will come back to you whenever they have a question or need help. 

Step 3: Plant as Many Seeds as Possible

The final piece of advice we gave to Carl is have the same type of meaningful, but short conversation with many women.

There are a few reasons for this

1)      If you did leave on a high note, later on when she’s done rejecting all the losers that tried to pick her up, it will be very easy to pick up where you guys left off.

2)      If you messed up and didn’t impress a few women, no biggie.  The ones who did like you will eventually want to talk to you again.  It’s still a numbers game.

3)      Create social proof – when they see you talking to other women, it shows that you are social and in demand

So plant the seeds and you will reap too big of a harvest to worry about the seeds that didn’t grow.

For Better Networker Members

Network and have fun.  Socialize and add value to the people you interact with.  As you talk to more and more people and people start commenting on your articles, and replying to your forum posts, your name will become known. This visible interaction will provide the social proof to make your communications that much more powerful.

And if you are really producing some good content, you’ll be more likely to get featured on the home page and maybe even get Mike Dillard to send your article or video out to his list.

That’s the ultimate in social proof, but you have to start with value and quality before anything like that happens.

Rule of Thumb

Now, one of the rules of thumb which will allow you to create your own unique game plan is “Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing”.

Sometimes people misinterpret this as “don’t take action”. 

No! What this means is do the opposite, within the context of a specific action.

For example, if most people on BN.com are promoting their business, don’t promote your business.  Promote your brand and solution.

If most people are posting 3-5 crappy articles on BN.com per day, post 1 super high quality, content rich article per week.

If most people are posting content on Article Marketing, post content and start forum threads on SEO.

And if most people are avoiding racy issues like the analogous nature between dating and network marketing, write an article about how picking up women at bars is like growing your networking marketing business. ;)

… you get the idea.

Oh, btw, Carl ended up striking up 8 conversations that night.  What was funny is that we were going to leave it at that, but one of the women he talked to came over to our table towards the end of the night and demanded to sit next to Carl, and kicked out the married guy from his seat.

I guess the plan worked too well.  Something was weird about her and we managed to have the bartender distract her, while we slipped out the back door.  We celebrated Carl’s victory over fear and rejection with late night pancakes at a local diner.

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Ferny Ceballos sincerely hopes that no one is offended by the material above and that his girlfriend forgives him if she ever finds this article.  To learn more about Ferny and to keep up to date on whether he got burned by this article, go to http://www.attractionmarketingformula.com.