In the Face of Death...
Written by Raymond Fong on Nov 11, 2008 8:59 pm
Read More: Leadership | Mindset | Personal DevelopmentBecause I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me.
The Carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality
~Emily Dickinson
I just got off of the phone with my mom and she told me the bad news.
My uncle, in his battle with liver cancer, isn't doing so well. To put it in very layman terms, he's dying.
He's been battling cancer for a few years now. When he first found out he has liver cancer, he rushed into action and got himself placed on the list for a liver transplant. As luck would have it along with making some connections and being able to afford the procedure, he was able to get one just in time. And that was that.
Or at least so we thought...
See, 90%+ of those who undergo a successful liver transplant would successfully rid themselves of the cancerous cells. Unfortunately, my uncle fell into the 10%...
The cancer resided in his liver and remained in his body despite the transplant. It started to spread to the rest of his body. Despite him undergoing all sorts of treatments and taking all forms of medication, it was all to no avail. It's since spread to his spine and he is in excruciating pain every minute.
It's gotten to the point where he can barely lie down... And that's part of the problem. See, they can give him radiation treatment on his back to help reduce the pain if he can only lie still for an hour.
But alas he can't and quite franklh, I don't think he wants to anyway 
And so the cancer continues to spread and he merely awaits his last breath.
Death Has a Way of Waking You Up and Making You Realize What's Really Important in Life
My uncle has had a good life, well, for the most part anyway. He immigrated to the States after finishing medical school in Taiwan, only to find out that the "degree" he got in Taiwan didn't count.
So he went back to school here in the States and willed himself to get a MS. I can only imagine what a struggle that must've been for an immigrant...
He became an anesthesiologist and made big bucks. Suffice to say, he retired quite wealthy and has plenty of materialistic possessions and money in the bank.
But guess what, in what may be his last few days/weeks here on this planet with us, what does he seek out? What brings him happiness the most?
It's not the Lexus that's sitting in his garage. It's not the $10,000+ grand piano he purchased years ago. It's not the private home theater he built in the basement of his mansion.
It's the people. It's the people he's loved. It's the people that's loved him. It's his family, his friends, and anybody else whose life he's touched.
In his feeble state where he can barely move, he doesn't care about all those materialistic things he's purchased and collected over his lifetime. Those are meaningless to him now.
Watching this whole even unfold before me reminded me of what someone once told me... that at the end of the day, it's not a matter of how much materialistic goods you collect in your lifetime, but rather, the number of lives you've touched. It's not how much money you've made but rather, how much love you've garnished.
So Ask Yourself, "What are You Doing With Your Life? What is Your Purpose?"
Are you doing business for the sake of materialistic goods? Are you merely chasing money? If so, you are bound to lead an empty life. Like my martial art instructor says, "Man should not chase money. Money should chase man."
Life is about leaving behind a legacy, giving back to the universe more than what you take from it. I truly believe this and I promise you, so does my uncle.
Raymond Fong
===================================================================
Here's to my uncle, a great man who's touched many people's lives. And here's to the way he loved me like his own son. Thank you.
Views: 750 | 
Comments: 17 
About the Author: Raymond Fong
Member Since: 11/15/2007
I'm a Distributor For:: Numis Network
Other Company: Affinity Integration, LLC
Industry: Consulting
Primary Web Site: http://www.RaymondFong.net/
Twitter: RaymondFong
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/raymondfong
How poignant, sad, and
How poignant, sad, and true. God's rich blessings on you and your family and your uncle. I'll pray for some kind of pain comfort for him, and strength and emotional energy/endurance for the rest of you. It's not easy being the family member of a dying person, at any point in the process. Try to eat, sleep, drink water, and forget as much else as possible in this difficult time.
God's peace to you.
Susi
Legacy
Thanks Raymond. I'm really sorry to hear about your Uncle but also, chuffed that he got a family member like yourself, who can see the wisdom of things, and share it with us, so we may see beyond.
True, the purpose of our lives, and what we do it for, is somethimes a miss for many.
Leaving a legacy is indeed the bigger picture.
All the best and to your legacy
Adam
Taking the Negative and Making It Positive
Hi Raymond,
Very Good Post!!!! I empathize with you as you go through this rough time in your life with your Uncle so sick. It is not a nice thing to have a family member or anyone whom you are close to, suffer from cancer and then you are watching them on their deathbed, wishing you could do something to help make it better for them and you cannot really do much to help! I Have been there! God Knows Best, My Friend although its hard to believe.
What you have done by turning this negative news into a post which adds value to persons is great and I thank you. Many of us have negative situations and circumstances in our lives and we fail to find some good out of it and learn a vaulable lesson. When there is death around you, you realize that the only thing that really matters in life is People and Relationships. NO matter how much money you have at the end of the day, it will never make you happy!
Thank you and Keep Up the Good Work! I am praying for you and your family! After the Rain there is always sunshine, and after a storm the calm. Take Care!
Rosanne Reid!
www.thehealthyway.cyberwize.com
Lucky
Raymond,
You're uncle is very lucky to have such a wonderful family who cares for him and that he cares for as well.
Thank you for sharing. I know it wasn't easy.
-Jason
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Raymond,
I sure do see what you mean! Do you notice that almost everything stops when someone close to you passes? It really makes you think about what is really a priority! I lost my adopted Grandmother on Tuesday. It was Veteran's Day. She sure was a veteran Mom! She raised 5 children of her own, all boys and she still had room in her heart for my Sister and me after my Grandma died when I was 7. She was everything you ever wanted in a Grandma....cooked great food, loved us and prayed for us always. May she rest in the peace of Heaven always. I have the honor of singing at her Funeral on Saturday. I will be returning to the parish of my youth. It will be good to go "home". I am sorry for the loss of your Uncle.
Sincerely,
Alicia
Bizzy Mom
Prayers out to you...
Raymond,
My prayers go out to you, your uncle, and your family during this time. When most of us hear about that kind of news, material possessions, money, house, cars, etc. don't seem to matter. What really matters is family, friends, and what our name will be associated with when we leave.
Forgive me if these aren't the right words to say. It's always hard to come up with something positive in the brink of news like this.
I pray for your uncle's speedy recovery. Stay strong.
Paul Schmitz
Purpose
What truly counts in a person's life is their purpose. I want to give back. I have given, if I was paid for all the volunteer hours given in my life, I would be a very rich woman. But what I gave is priceless, my circle of friends and loved ones is huge. Poverty limits me, wealth enables me to touch and give ... like I could never give before. It IS the people, the people I love and love me back. Oh what a horrible empty life it would be without them. The universe knows my intention, and so many times what you give ... comes back 10 fold. May your uncle take comfort in the love that surrounds him and in the honorable life that he lived. He goes to a better place and his memory will linger on in the hearts of those who loved him.
always
Connie Loeschen
Thank You For Sharing Your Heart...
Hi Raymond!
I am soooo sorry to hear about your uncle...it's disheartening to hear about people you care about so much when they are suffering so much and there is nothing you can do to help....
Thank you for sharing your heart and spirit in this article! I know that through your sharing of yourself, you will awaken people to really think about how important it truly is to define your purpose? I have been speaking about this for years now... (even wrote a lens on Squidoo on this) It truly is not easy to define right away...it is a process, but to have the awareness that we need to find our purpose is a huge start! Through your sadness, you have managed to enlighten many! I believe that "what we go through in the darkness, we speak about in the light".
I am praying for your uncle and your family...praying for lesser pain and comfort for him and for him to continue to be surrounded by those who love him! I pray for all of you to have the opportunity to honor him and re-live and reminisce precious moments from the past that will give him joy... I pray for a MIRACLE! I pray for comfort, peace, strength and courage for your family...
In His Precious Love,
Emma
Comforting Thought...
Just know and remember, Raymond, that everyone here at BetterNetworker joins me in saying that our hearts and prayers go out to you. Thank you for sharing at such a sad time in your life.
Isn't it sort of odd that there are certain events in our lives, when we least expect it, that give us our "aha" moments. You never know what event or circumsance will appear and make sense out of a lot of things you never realized. They ground you and make you realize what is important.
Raymond, your last statement says it all:
"Life is about leaving behind a legacy, giving back to the universe more than what you take from it."
God Bless You and your family as you come together at this sad time in your life.
Dianne
"Life is Not About How Many Breathes You Take...It's About How Many Times Life Takes Your Breathe Away"
Thanks for sharing that with us Raymond!
You know your extended family here on BNW is here for you in difficult times!
Getting Personal...
Hey Ramond,
I feel for you. I lost my little sister to cancer a few years ago. Needless to say, this was devastating for our family. She was 37 when she died, and left behind 4 young children.
I just want to say thanks for what you wrote. To take something so personal, and weave it into a great lesson for all of us, is truly a noble thing to do. The lives you touch with this lesson cannot heal your uncle, but they can all help us to live in a more meaningful way.
Peace to you, bro.
Shecky
Live a life of giving
My condolences to you and your family Raymond,I lost my father to cancer 8 years ago its hard for me to write this right now as I think of him during the holidays.The material things one has collected during their life means nothing in the end.People will remember and judge you by the value of the life you lived and the life's that you've touched along the way.If you live a life of giving your life will not be in vain.
I was one of the fortunate ones
My mom died 6 years ago from what they called a rapidly, fatal cancer. The wonderful part she was never in any pain. Weak and frail but mentally with me. The second wonderful part was I spent 24 hours a day with her from diagnosis to death (56 days) and I got to tell her how much I loved her over and over again. I was blessed to be able to give back to her a tiny portion of what she had given to me over my life time.
Thank you for your post. It brought back some memories, some tears and some smiles. Mom's possessions meant nothing to us. Only the touches, the smiles, the talking and the wonderful memories she left me with. She is my hero.
Joyce Penner
http://joycepenner.wordpress.com
Thanks for Sharing
Raymond,
I have lost many family members to cancer. My mother died when I was young and my sister has also been battling cancer. But my mom taught me great lesson in life before she died that no money in the world could every compare. Thanks for this post. Raymond, may God keep you and your family.
Thanks,
Freddy Pilar
Money ...
Isn't it funny how when we are young and in our prime we think money will solve it all...
and in the end - the money can do nothing but lay there but the people around us are the ones
who hold all the value.
When my aunt passed away I inherited a nice check. To my surprise I did not want it - did not want to spent it. It sat there. I would have handed each penny back to sit and talk with her still today.
purpose is huge that is why we are here.God made everything for his purpose and he allows
us to borrow his things for a time. What we do with our skills and talents in our time line
always shows at the end.
Great post. Your memories are priceless.
Angela Brooks
www.angelabrooks.net
There is an alternative.
Take heart. Joel Osteen's mother - Dodi, was in the same condition many years ago and was sent home to die in 1981 She had other thoughts. A Spirit filled believer of the word of God. She took every healing scripture she could find and started to confess them and believe them. She spoke LIFE over hersef and still does today. It was not too long before the cancer had to leave her body because her faith in the word was stronger than the cancer. She is still living today. She still confesses those scriptures every day and enjoying Life to the full. You will find her through the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas
Raymond, don't give up, speak Life and health over your uncle and get him to do the same. The Devil is a liar and the word is life and the truth. I speak life over your uncle. God Bless you.
Norman (I will live and not die)
http://www.lksix38.com
The Power Of Prayer...
Raymond,
I appreciate you sharing this article in this timing... And you and your family are in my prayers. But don't give up, things can get better....
Just continue to pray...
Donna Wells