It's the most overlooked secret to relationships...

note: this article is a year old. fresh on the mind so I decided to add to it and share. Enjoy!

So, what's the secret to relationships? I'll tell you in a minute.

This past monday my family celebrated my youngest daughter Brooklyn's third birthday. I could do no justice in describing her excitement. So if you can help me by imagining the biggest, brightest most beautiful brown eyes, I'll let her tell you in her own angelic voice..."you mean I get to make my own berfday cake, I could have free candles on it..can sissy have a piece?" Sissy is her older sister Sydnee, she's seven.

Now if you don't have kids you may need help translating "berfday" and "free" but I'll assume you get it.=) The thing that stood out to me in all the excitement was the last thing she said. I mean, what could be more important for a kid on her berfday than getting all the attention? Here we are, the whole family focus is on her, so many presents for her laying around that our kitchen looks like a theme park, she's getting to bake her own cake for the first time at her own party and what does she say? "Can my sissy have a piece"

That blew my mind! It wasn't like everybody suddenly had an epiphany, but for what seemed like maybe a minute or so, I was stuck. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Her sincerity and generosity rocked me! Brooklyn could make that statement because in that moment, she didn't recognize lack. In her own way, she only saw abundance. It became glaringly obvious to me that's the main reason adults act so unnaturally.

So what's one of the most overlooked secrets to relationships? I'll give you a hint. It's not abundance.It's actually gratitude. Brooklyn was so grateful in that moment that nothing else mattered. Not any of the back and forth bickering that siblings get into or anything else that you might expect to sway her attention being that it was her party and you know girls can cry when they want to anyway.

Nothing offends relationships of ANY TYPE, more than a percieved slight or hanging on for dear life to the need to be right. Think about how many times you've held a grudge for longer than you needed to. Or taken longer to apologize than you should've. We do it to protect a sense of self identity. Everybody is guilty!

How unbalanced is that though? If we're spending the majority of the time in relationship to other human beings in fight or flight mode, how much time are we forfeiting when it comes to finding things to be grateful about in one another? What are we overlooking that is right in our face, but we're to stuck to notice?

I promise you that if you spend more time finding things in other people to be genuinely grateful for, it will feel like your whole world just opened up for the first time ever!  The practice of gratitude is the gateway drug to an abundance mentality, and then an abundance reality. That's a beautiful addiction to have.

Yes it takes practice, but the best part is that when we consistently see ourselves as abundant from the inside out, we'll never be afraid to give. We can invest in one another on all levels because we understand that the well won't ever run dry, whether it's a significant other, family, friends, business partner or the random person you meet in the street or online.

Try it, literally...what do you have to lose?

Love First..Love Last..Be Legendary!

Colin Taylor

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