I gave myself permission to reprint this

The title was “In the face of death”

Posted on November 27, 2008 by joycepenner

I stopped scrolling wondering what a blog post on a social networking site would be about with a title such as “In the face of death”.  Raymond Fong was the author and the article related the phone call from his mom.  His uncle was dying.  A successful uncle with lots of material possessions savouring what was truly important at this stage of his life  – his family.  The people that cared about him.  The cars, toys, material possessions were unimportant.

Raymond’s message was a good one for network marketers.  If you are after money and only money you are missing out on the most important thing in life – people and your relationship with them.

Six years ago my mom’s death drove that home for me.  I was fortunate.  My mom, 72 years old, was diagnosed with a “rapidly, fatal” cancer.  No cure, no treatment,  however there was some good news too.  There would be no pain associated with the cancer.  Two weeks after her diagnosis she was in the hospital palliative care unit.

I made a vow to her she would not die alone.  I would be there for her.  We talked, we laughed, we reminisced.  I told her many times a day how much I loved her (which I had been too busy to do before).  I cried when she had a really good day and hope blossomed in my heart that maybe the doctors were wrong.  I cried when she had a restless day as I had to acknowledge maybe the doctors were right and I was going to lose her.   I never cried in front of her and neither did she cry in front of me.   She was strong and so was I.  Each bleeding inside as we knew she was never going to see her next two great grandchildren on the way.  (Both of whom were named after her)

We enjoyed each other.  I was blessed to be able to give back even a small portion of what she had given me over my life time.  I loved her, honoured her, respected her as I should have done my whole life.  I was blessed for 56 of the shortest and the longest days of my life to be in her presence as she prepared for her death.   I prayed for strength as exhaustion set in and He granted me what I needed.

Something told me to call my sister that morning and tell her to fly in as soon as she could.  Nothing appeared to have changed but I knew, my sister needed to be there.   Twelve hours later my mom breathed her last.  Quietly, peacefully, she was gone and so was a part of our hearts.

She was and is my hero.  My mom.  The one who always offered unconditional love.  The one who always tracked me down on my birthday with cake and gifts and birthday cards about being such a wonderful daughter – even when I wasn’t.   She would bring her cleaning supplies and twice a year would wash my windows.  She would walk in with winter jackets and boots or school supplies and clothes for the kids telling me she couldn’t resist – they were on sale.  She seemed to know when there was more month than money and invitations to join her for supper were extended.   She never criticized, never interfered.  She was just there when I needed her.  Quietly.  Just like she died.

When I grow up I want to be just like her.

A lady.  With a heart.  I miss her.

To your success,

Joyce Penner