Are you REALLY building relationships on social networking sites?
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How many times have you read or heard marketers talk about “building relationships“? Usually they’re referring to the adding tons and tons of friends to various social networking groups and blasting their wares to them on a consistent basis as “relationship-building”.
But building relationships is NOT about merely acquiring thousands and thousands of friends, followers and the like and then hitting them from all angles with your opportunity – and this is PRECISELY what most people do!
Listen…one of the BEST pieces of advice I’ve ever received and that if you want to really succeed in this industry, you’ll heed to as well is:
“If 97% of marketers are failing miserably at having success in their business yet…97% of marketers are doing the exact same things, DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what they’re doing!”
So if the majority of those folks are using social media sites to do nothing (much) more than pitch, then you need to RUN, not walk, in the opposite direction and do what they’re NOT doing!
In order to REALLY build relationships with the people on social sites, you have to find ways to connect with them:
- Give away value-based information, videos, etc. (even if they’re not YOURS!)
- Send out inspiring quotes or motivational sayings
- Share things about yourself..showing your everyday, “I’m-not-JUST-a-salesperson/recruiter” side (but do NOT overdo this!)
- Actually take time to COMMUNICATE with some of them from time-to-time. Someone says “Going out to dinner for my birthday today” and you so happen to see that message, send them a b-day greeting! If someone says they’re not feeling well, send a “Hope you’re feeling better soon!” message. Interact when and where you can!
-In the offline world with your TRUE warm market…don’t expect to call up Sally whom you haven’t spoken with in the last 2 years and start spouting off about “the wonderful opportunity/products” you’ve just been introduced to! Are you MAD? She’s going to look at that phone like…”What the…?!?”
Instead, send Sally a “thinking of you” card and NOTHING MORE!
Or give Sally a “I was thinking about you and wanted to call and see how you’re doing” call and NOTHING MORE!
Then talk to her or email her a couple more times and if Sally asks, “So what are you up to these days?” Then say something casual and see where it goes from there! If the opportunity does not present itself, wait until another time…but remember, the idea is to NOT bug friends and fam but either ask for referals or simply leave them alone and seek after more qualified prospects who actually WANT to know more.
Bottom line…building relationships takes time and it takes a gentle approach. If you are coming from a state of desperation, then more than likely you will never do this the correct way.
But if you come from a state and a mindset of GENUINELY wanting to help others (and sure, yourself too…but others first) then your relationship-building will go a much, MUCH longer way!
Cherie King
Views: 2,928
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Comments: 54 
About the Author: Cherie King
Member Since: 05/22/2008
I'm a Distributor For:: DrinkACT
Other Company: Cherie King | CrowninGlory Natural Hair Publications
Industry: Coach
Primary Web Site: http://theworkathomeadvocate.com
Great Article... Cherie!!!
I really like these thoughts.. I am adding you.. for sure..
"the idea is to NOT bug friends and fam but either ask for referals or simply leave them alone and seek after more qualified prospects who actually WANT to know more."
and the truth will set us free.. haha!!! Keep doing what you are doing.. great stuff..
Thank you Neil!
Thank you Neil!
Thanks For the Article
Your article makes sense, we are real humang beings, with real feelings and emotions. We don't want to always talk about business, get to know me, learn about my family, learn about what I like to do for fun. You know really grow a relationship. Again, Great Article Cherie!
Thanks for this article
Very hands on and appropriate.
Enjoyed the insights!
Sandy Rich (custombabyshoegirl)
Loved the Article
Thank you Cherie, for a brilliant look at what everyone should be doing.
Once again - please stop pitching
Thanks for a well written and well stated article. Love the choice of clip art for the start of the article. That's a perfect idea of what it feels like from Twitter much of the time. I do send links to articles I have written mixed with links of what I hope is valuable content from other authors - I won't send the link or RT if I don't feel it's worthy content. I try to follow your guidelines, otherwise.
It is amazing to me to see people that I know have been through the MS course or the Renegade Professional training who nevertheless post a stream of tweets with links to sales pages or tweets with hyped language about huge incomes and awesome opportunities. What part of "don't pitch" don't these students of attraction marketing understand?
I have two Twitter accounts I use for two different circles of people I'd like to meet. I often get a notice that I am being followed by someone at the same time from the same person in both accounts. You know it's mechanized, or at the least done by someone in an automaticity trance. I usually block these people. It's a good sign of what I can expect from them should I follow back: selling - selling - selling. No thanks.
Solid teaching. Thumbs up!
Really great ideas
Really great ideas there.
Yeah, there are different kinds of people, for some it may work, for others, they would get put off. The personal touch is so important.
The people we relate to need to see us as human beings with feelings, going through some of the same stuff they go through rather that just a business person solely interested in making sales.
As marketers we need to be reminded of this more often.
Thanks for reminding us.
relationship marketing
You nailed that subject, for sure.
relationship marketing
Very well said Cherie, I shall be glad when all the TRUMPeting dies down! Not just them though but I found it funny;-) I want to communicate with people and so many posts/tweets pitching are ruining the amazing medium
Finally...
I just wish that the people you are talking about would read this article. I joined the "Entrepreneur" group on facebook the other day and was faced with nothing but pitches, pitches, and more pitches. I was hoping to find some people to connect with, but all I saw were salespeople.
I appreciate so much your approach. If we treat people on social media the way we treat them in the real world, we will see much better results.
Great article!
It's easy to abuse the new tools we have for expanding our relationships. Thanks for framing this subject with such skill. Especially love the positive suggestions. Thank you, Cherie!
You condensed in one artilce what I'm learning in 3 webinars!
In a word excellent!
Great Insight
I really liked the examples and insight of treating it just like talking to a friend (in the end isn't that what attraction marketing is all about?). Keep writing and I will keep reading! Great!
Relationship Marketing
Thanks Cherie, for the awesome article, and insight. It's much harder to actually connect, but so much more worthwhile. Automatated repsonses do nothing for me.
I Wasn't Put Here for Everyone...
Well said Cherie.
Once again, it's monkey see, monkey do. It's tempting, I know...I did it myself early on...and better to make that mistake and learn from it than to never have tried it all.
You see soooo many people puking their opportunity, you start to think that maybe, just maybe, there's something to it. And the people just starting out in this industry see it and honestly believe that that's the way it's supposed to be done.
But now comes the LEARNING part...
I've said it before and I'll say it again - those methods will NOT build you LONG TERM success!
Why would you want any other kind?!
You have to understand that you were not put on this earth, or into this industry, for everyone...just as you are not drawn to everyone, everyone is not drawn to you.
Personally, I looking for those who are looking for me. Trust me, the right relationships will happen.
Yes, you have to look for them, but hammering EVERYONE over the head is telling EVERYONE what they can expect from you in the relationship, just as when people hammer you...you learn what to expect from that person in a relationship and you AVOID them....
...read that sentence again.
Cherie, thanks again for your insights on this subject!
Cheers!
Rick
The Flock...
Great insight Cherie,
Thanks alot, many of my thoughts exactly. I hadn't seen this until this morning email check. I've just posted a cute (light hearted article) about the effectiveness of Twitter...
Look for "Sing Like a Canary, Cluck like a...." Let me know what you think. I was just trying to have a little fun.
Your friend,
Mitchell Dillman
Eco Warrior
Perfect
Cherie, that was perfectly said with a great dash of personality.
Eventually our industry will get the respect it deserves as more of us learn to do exactly as you said. But in the meantime we can individually ensure we get the respect we deserve for sure.
Best
Darag
Nice Article
Great article Cherie,
a very well stated message.
Marketers something fail to communicate with each other, and instead are constantly pitching.
Take the time to listen and learn about the people your working with.
Cheers.
Nice Insight on Attraction Marketing
Great article, Cherie.
I love the clip art, and I love your photo.
You’ve hit the nail on the head here.
I think trying to generate zillions of followers is a mistake many people new to the internet make. Everyone brags about the number of followers and friends they have, and it’s hard not to get caught up in that nonsense.
I know I am much more discriminating about the people I friend and follow. I guess we start out going after everyone who can fog a mirror, and then we understand that they are not adding any value at all to the relationship.
Personally, I don’t friend anyone on Facebook who has not sent me a personal message. I mean, how can you invite someone that you don’t know to be your friend, and you don’t even begin the conversation by stating how or why you want to strike up a relationship?
My son teases me about it, but any time I have acted against my inner instinct, I have regretted it. I mean, who likes being bombarded by mountains of spam?
The benefits of being entrepreneurs, to a good extent, means that we can choose the people we work with. Don’t we all want pleasant, agreeable relationships where each person contributes to the conversation?
Absolute numbers don’t matter. What is important is the relationship we build with our lists – whether they are Twitter, Facebook, or our own email lists. That’s why smaller lists of people – that know, like, and trust you – will out-perform and out-buy a huge list of “followers” and “friends” every day of the week.
Thanks again for your great post.
Angela
Run dont walk
I think you have hit the nail on the head. Self promotion is not relationship building Regards Emil
Realistic Wisdom
Thank you for sharing this. It is more than just common sense, it's value in be genuine! Integrity is also the best avenue to success.
To Prosperity!
Are you REALLY building relationships on social networking sites
Thank you Cherie for sharing,very well said,this is the approach that i have taken,it takes a while to get to the pitch,but when you do,it makes it a lot easier.
Hollis
I'm new and need to hear it!
I'm new to social media and I'm learning a lot thanks to great advice from people just like you! Thanks again for the great post! Have a Great Day!
Heading in the right direction
Good practical advice Cherie. Definitely the message of not spamming/bugging people is the best advice to share with network markerters.
We need to get rid of the bad vibes that people have about this industry and following your tips is one of to do this.
Best wishes,
Barbara Nugent, Apriori
Fantastic Article about Quality vs. Quantity
Wonderful Article Cherie. Good and bad behaviors become magnified online. The people that pitch their wares on Facebook are the same people that pitch you at your local Chamber of Commerce, Church, Rotary, Charity meetings, etc., and most people run from this. It sends a signal of desperation and in today’s transparent world this will backfire on the marketer.
Most successful people got that way by freely contributing to their communities. Typically these are the people that you'd see working with your local Charities, Rotary Club, Chamber, Church, PTA, Golf Fundraiser, Kayaking Club or Social Clubs.
Their positive visibility didn’t come from “pitching deals” but rather from being a valuable and trustworthy resource within their community. This naturally attracted people to them and solid long-term relationships were built. This service to community was not driven by dollars but rather by the purpose of servant leadership.
Social media puts this on steroids and it magnifies motivations. Your article Cherie is so truthful and spot on! Thank you!
Awesome Article
You took the words right out of my mouth (and no I am not plagiarizing a Meatloaf song:) I've only been doing network marketing for a little over 6 months now and it drives me crazy when I get a Twitter follow from someone with over 10K followers and following over 10K. Now 10K following Mike Dillard I could understand, but 1/2 of the people you get Tweets from. Hmm. How can they even be personable with their Twitter acct. with that many people? And inevitably, you follow one and you get a DM with an opportunity slap. How can I possibly care about people if I'm following 10K people? The great thing is "I" can pick and choose whom I follow and if you send me a Twitter request and are following 10K people, I am not following you back. Sorry, but if you are a 10K Twitterer, Newsflash: You don't need that many people to be successful. Okay, that's my 5 cents. Everyone have an awesome day.
I need to connect with you
Hey Cherie I am new to owning my business and that is very valuable info that just boosted my confidence so much more. I want to say thank you for that especially thoughts on the warm market I really needed that cause I want to use info like that to develop my ultimate guide to building a business online and offline. And also adding you right now! Keep in touch! Peace.
Building Relationships... Or Building You
I am totally on the same page as you, Cherie.
I do not feel too comfortable with pitching to my Cold and Warm market. Imagine how they feel! When building relationships, it is so important to build rapport.
Learn all about them and Listen. What do people like to talk about the most? THEMSELVES! It is important to listen.
VALUE... if you can offer any kind of value into some one's life... if you can add something positive towards their days, and put a smile on their face, they will be interested in you.
If we focus our energies on others rather than ourselves, business will take care of its own.
Thank you for sharing this article, Cherie. A thumbs up from me!
Thank You Everyone! **blush**
Wow...I am so humbled. I posted this article (which began as a blog post on my blog) just to try and do a little more contributing to BN since my "rankings" were so low! LOL! But yes, I truly do feel that I've learned a lot online, but I'm also learning a lot about what NOT to do just from watching other people. Is it so hard to put ourselves into other people's shoes and then NOT do them others what we know full well we HATE having done to us?
So, again, thank you for your kind remarks and comments. I hope to add more value to the BN community and be a help to those new and trying to find their way!
Blessings,
Cherie
Social Sites
Cherie;
Thank you very much for the article about Social Sites. Your suggestions were fairly simple, doable and quite helpful! I'm one of those people that need to upgrade my "social site etiquette" and I will follow your advice in doing so.
Great message Cherie;
Gary A. Mitchell