Once And For All, Let's Define Relationship Building in Network Marketing

Relationship Building Sounds Less Threatening than List Building

If any of us called some prospects and said; "Oh, I want to add you to my list", the phone will must likely be slammed on us. If, on the other hand, we offer something to establish some trust, credibility may be established - building relationship.

List building is temporary, will almost look like  coupons to stores that last a definite time period. Conveying the message of trust in relationship building with business associates, friends, relatives or social networking groups is at the very center of relationship building and successful network marketing.

Successful doctors go into medicine, to heal and the money comes and not for the money. teahers go into that profession to educate and not for the money.

So, if we go into network marketing, but make friends first; don't you believe we will be more successful?

I agree that we are all in this for the money, using the list mentality, will be like hunting. When animals are hunted, they run away. While, if we use the relationship mentality, it will be like fishing. When you put the right bate, the fishes will bite.

Chris Nwakobi
“We Become What We Think of Most of the Time”
Tel: 916-983-2232
idegroupllc@gmail.com
Skype: idegroupllc
http://idegroup.successin10steps.com

Allow me to clarify, Chris

Chris,

There's absolutely everything "right" about making friends.  Otherwise, we may as well live as hermits.  When you talk about developing friendships, Chris, I believe you are referring to "Social Networking".  I'm talking exclusively about "Network Marketing".  There's a distinct difference between the two.

In social networking, you look to find like minded individuals, people you share similar interests with ... a common ground.  From there, you may want to do some cross promotions on your websites, mastermind together, post comments on each other's blogs, share some social media strategies, joint ventures, etc.

What I'm trying to get across is how to effectively handle the initial "Sifting & Sorting", "Screening", the "Qualifying" of your network marketing prospects.  There's really no need to spend weeks and months on the process.

Does this help to clarify the issue, Chris?

~Melanie

A thought or two...

Chris,

I think it's a matter of ones posture. If you are looking to bring people into your business you would not want to come from a position of "let's be friends" first, let's see if we are compatible. That sounds like dating. And, we all know how that goes. ;-)

This is business and I want to choose the people who come into my business based upon my criteria. I have something to offer and I want to position myself as such. You must qualify for my time. There is plenty of time to make a friend after you're in my business, as we're training and doing 3 ways. Way too time consuming to make everyone a friend first.

Just a couple of thoughts.

RICK

Generally agree

Generally agree as long as you don't fall into the trap of only recruiting 'people like you' - 85% of the population don't like push salesmen promising them 6 fig incomes. If you want to attract the widest possible personality types to your team you need ot be able to spot where they are coming from within 3 minutes tops on the phone and adjudt accordingly.

Andrew you need to flip that thought over

The personality "type" doesn't matter at all.  What you are looking for are people who a.) have the desire (a strong why) b.) who have the time to build a business c.) have or can get access to money to start their business.  If they fit those 3 criteria it doesn't matter if they are purple, pink or magenta.  What you do need to establish is their hot buttons as this business is not about your agenda but what you can do to help them solve their problems.  Your business may not be for them and you need to find that out before you waste anybody's time - yours or theirs. 

To your success,

Joyce Penner

www.joycepenner.com

I don't see...

... what's wrong with making friends while you build your business. And no... honestly... I don't like the idea of building a list just to send out a bunch of ads. Been there done that and I really didn't feel good about it even though I knew the products I was advertising was good.

I'd rather build my business through building relationships and trust with people. They will buy my products when they see how they've helped me and my family. They will join my business because they know I can help them succeed (and no... people don't have to qualify for my time... I don't believe in putting a $ on my time either... it's priceless and so are the people who really want to succeed).

Why am I in Network Marketing? To build a business while gaining new friends and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that... I don't worry about the money. I know it will come. As a matter of fact, I think people who focus only on the money and see only $ everytime they get a new prospect have really missed the point of what success truly is.

Why do I feel it's important to build relationships? Well how can you truly help someone succeed if you don't know who they are, what their desires are, and what motivates them? If you think you'll motivate the people you sponsor by waving your success in their face, well... let's just say that never worked for me. What has worked for me was having an upline who has taken the time to get to know me and spends time with me every day helping me build my business.

Thanks Melanie

I enjoy the dialogue going on here. I remember as a young man going to bars to find just one girl friend. my objective at that time was (you guess it). However, I start out asking for a dance, then buy her some drinks, talk with her and bingo, get a good phone number.

If I had just approached girls without establishing some sort of thrust, I would have failed miserably. I stll value the relationship building in Network marketing before pushing my product or opportunity. the best feeling I have had, is when prospect ask me what company I represent and not me pushing it on them.

We will just classify our relationship building in Network marketing as: Friendly Business Relationship.

To your continued success

Chris Nwakobi.  

http://idegroup.5pillarstosuccess.com/

Tel: 916-983-2232

Skype: idegroupllc

Boundry Issues

What we need to qualify here is the type of relationship that you are trying to cultivate. 

Business is business.  We should not blur the lines between friendship and Networking. 

Psychological manipulation and bait and switch only leaves a bitter taste, and will not help repete business. 

We need to understand the needs of our clients in order to help them..we do want to educate and build trust with our prospects.  I agree it is best to find out right away what someone needs and if you can provide for them.

In addition, if someone is not interested in your product, that does not necessarily mean that you should not make a connection.  There are all kinds of ways people can help each other.  Associates and colleges in this industry need to support one another for the better of the industry. 

Please don't offer friendship when what you want is a business relationship.

Ah Chris you bring back memories

This is strictly from a woman's point of view and you'll have the male perspective so both of our paradigms are just that - our own paradigms.  But bear with me.

I hated it when I met a guy and there was some chemistry.  We'd go out, have some fun, talk a bit, laugh and I'd start liking the guy.  Then the "let's go to bed" started creeping into the relationship and if the answer was NO - you found out real quick that all the prelimary stuff was just to get you into bed. 

I grew to love honesty.  Meet a guy - he tells you he's not interested in a long term relationship, just some laughs, casual sex, etc.  OR you meet a guy who's only interested in a one or two night stand OR you meet the guy who's looking for a long term commitment.  If the guy's honest and upfront with what he's looking for, a girl's decision is from that point her own business but it's an honest, open relationship. 

Looking to build relationships with the intent of introducing them to your business is (in my opinion) dishonest.  (Let's get back to the I'll wine and dine you but I expect the bedroom at some point)  You, me and every other network marketer are in business.  Why hide it behind the "no agenda, relationship building courtship".  Here is what I have to offer (your opportunity), here is what I can do to help you (the benefit) and let the girl decide if she wants your terms.

As a network marketer your only source of income is to move product (have sex - whether it's a short or long term relationship) so be up front about it and don't hide behind a bottle of wine.  Can we still be friends?  Of course.  If I own a restaurant and you own a shoe store, we can get together over lunch and share ideas as two business owners mutually respecting each other but neither one of us should spend hours telling each other what is wrong with each other's business in the hopes they will invest in ours.

To your success,

Joyce Penner

www.joycepenner.com

BINGO

Way to go Michelle
Joyce Penner
www.joycepenner.com

Love It - Joyce

We are friends. I, in no means want to decieve a prospect. I appreciate your gut responses and insights.

Thanks for your reply, Andrew

Thanks for joining in on the conversation, Andrew.

I wholeheartedly agree with you that people don't care to deal with (or work with) "pushy" salespeople. Yuck. I rate them right up there with those undesirable, annoying telemarketers.

I despise the practice of Pitching, Proding, and Pouncing on people. Professional network marketers know better than to try and shove their products or business opportunity down someone's throat. People are sales-resistant and I'm definitely one of those people.

As far as personality types, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. My success has not hinged on whether someone is one personality type or another and I haven't had to make any kind of adjustments. It just doesn't factor in for me. That may be because I implement a unified training system which teaches "Rejection-free" and "Non-sales" methods of recruiting. I am blessed, that's for sure.

Hope to see you around again soon,

Melanie Kissell
http://melaniekissell.com

P.S. Your "Coffee House Letter" looks interesting. What does G.P.T. stand for?

You are a Beacon in the fog, Michelle!

I'm so grateful that you stopped by, Michelle. You have, so eloquently, paraphrased my viewpoint on the issue of "relationship building" in network marketing.

It's refreshing to meet other true professionals who get it!

Your last line, especially, really resonates with me. "Please don't offer friendship when what you want is a business relationship." If this isn't a chunk of honesty, I don't know what is!

See you at the top,

~Melanie

"Friendly Business Relationship" - I like it, Chris!

I'm enjoying the dialogue here, as well, and I'm pleased that you are a participant, Chris.

Here's something that might interest you or help to further explain where I'm coming from and why I feel the way I do ...

I didn't mention this earlier in our discussion, and I probably should have. So please allow me to apologize. The reason I have no need to focus strongly on creating friendships (building relationships) with my prospects is that THEY CALL ME. I don't call them. My prospects initiate the very first conversation we have and then we see where things go from there.

Geez ... I'm feeling a bit embarrassed. I shouldn't have assumed that you were already aware of that fact.

Keep on keepin' on!

~Melanie

You've said a mouthful!

Thanks for telling it like it is!

My father used to say, "Let's just call a spade a shovel ... cause that's what it is!"

I've been waiting for the person who could equate network marketing with sex! (smile)

Ever consider writing as a sideline career?

~Melanie

Hey Renee!

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your insights, Renee.

I make no room in my heart or in my life for people who flaunt their success or wave it in my face. To me, that is blatantly rude and uncalled for. That behavior sends me running in the opposite direction! I was involved in a coaching and mentoring program once where the leader of the organization constantly bragged about himself and all his glory. He was quite adept at putting people down, too, and bashing just about every network marketing company in existence. No, thank you. I'll pass. Not my style ... or yours, either, I believe.

Someone who is truly a leader in this industy (in the deepest sense of the meaning) will never flaunt their success, but, instead, DEMONSTRATE it.

Like yourself, I don't focus on the money when speaking with prospects. I focus on finding out whether my products and/or business opportunity will allieviate their pain or solve some type of problems they're experiencing in their lives. You're right. If what you have to offer can help someone, the money will just naturally come your way.

Renee, you sound like the kind of person who makes friends easily and cherishes those friendships. Me, too. There's everything right in this world with making friends.

"Friendships" and "Business Partnerships" are two separate entities but they can, sometimes, end up to be one in the same!

Wishing you the very best of success,

~Melanie

http://melaniekissell.com

Social Business Marketing

  It seems a large percentage of folks on the social sites are prospecting something, I think those of us trying to make connections are aware of the pending pitch, how soon it comes is a turnoff for me. Even though I know its going to happen its always nice to be kissed before grabbing for a"". Where do those new folks start if they haven't posted 500 articles or 100's of videos. It seems its a fine line between business and being social. Where to start if you are not an established person of interest. Blessings to those of you who are well involved in this industry and do not need to reach out to connect.. I know you have put in alot of your effort and time to be where you are. I applaud your success and will continue to learn. Reaching the point of prospects seeking your talent is where we all hope to be.

Good Points

Many good points have been discussed already. I agree with what you said . . .

"The people that you need to build vibrant, healthy, lasting relationships with are the people that join you in your business or become your customers.  That's when the relationship building begins.  These are the folks that deserve your time, energy, and effort in getting to know, like, and trust you.  You have a vested interest in them and a responsibility to build a relationship with them.  Hopefully, one that will transform into a friendship and last a lifetime."

Linda

My Video Response! (I Hate Typing When I Don't Have To!)

I really hate wasting my time so I try to respond in video when necessary. You can see my response now. Go ahead, it's actually pretty cool!

Eddie Holford

Apples and Oranges

I really think the difference in the discussions comes down to apples and oranges. You can't compare the two. Some are talking about attraction marketing, but I think Melanie is talking about once you've already attracted them and rubber hits the road and you are deciding if you want to make a person a business partner. You can be friendly with people on your list, but the relationship changes once you are deciding to or not to sponsor someone in your company. No matter what you can still be friendly, but the relationship deepens once you decide to sponsor someone or be sponsored by someone.

Let's settle for 'Business Partner'

Melanie would you like to be my business partner? I have joined a company called blogsense.ws and they have this terrific .....

If we work together, we both benefit ....

Business Partner is not as fake as 'would you like to be my friend'. At the same time it is not as 'save your wallet and run' as let me tell you about this lotion that makes your hair grow in the right places and vanish from ...

Culture also comes into play. In the Middle East and some parts of Asia, a very blatant commercial approach would be offensive. Not so in Europe and the Americas.

Thanks for Clearing things up

Hi Melanie

I responded to a video clip by Mike Dillard & Dave Evans on this subject a few weeks ago, got no response. So I am very glad to see this article, it certainly makes things clear for me now:

This was my question at the time:

Hi Mike & Dave

Great video, enjoyed listening, but I am a bit confused. You guys say Face Book and similar mediums are like going to a party and chatting to people. And I agree, if you just talk about yourself you will make no friends. You then say it’s the same as person to person Networking, you ask about the other person to build the relationship. Well on a one on one basis it makes sense. Where the confusion comes is that we are told to get as many “friends” on our site as possible. Some sites even reward or praise you for it. But how the heck are you going to be able to realistically find out things about all these people (other than the stuff they already have on their site) Where and how is the relationship going to be formed. How is the other guy going to know you identify with him. The bottom line is, surely, you can only do this with a handful of people, not hundreds or thousands like I see on some sites.

Just a thought

Kerry Erasmus

Thank you for your honesty, Michelle

You hit the nail exactly on the head with your comment that your relationship building happens AFTER people join you in your opportunity. That's EXACTLY what continues to happen to me. I have made great friends in this industry...but mostly AFTER they joined me in my ventures.

Awesome article!!

I Don't Agree!

Melanie,

I am VERY appreciative of your honesty and straightforwardness, but my world apparently does not operate like yours.  When I add a friend on Facebook, or a follower on Twitter, these people already KNOW what I do.  They know I'm a marketer of some sort.  And, the more people I'm connected to, the more credibility this shows them. 

From there, I have a big list to work on.  The cream will rise to the top.  A small portion of these people will become my online buddies....tweets back and forth, some discussions on Facebook.  A small portion of those ask me for help.  THAT's when the real relationship begins.  At that point, I am STILL not selling anything.  I am HELPING.  As such, I have just postured myself as the EXPERT.  Everyone wants to be led.  I am now their leader.  If (and only if) it can benefit them, I might recommend that they get on my email list.  Of course, that continues the relationship in an automated way, but I encourage them to write or call me if they have questions.

Please note that NOWHERE in this scenario am I asking them to purchase any product, or join any company.  My emails may suggest them purchasing some training products or systems, but that's the extent of it.  When they are ready to look for a new opportunity, they will contact me.  If you've read the "Bible" aka "Magnetic Sponsoring" by Mike Dillard, this is what he calls being the "hunted, rather than the hunter."

Ultimately, you will pay some price for getting leads.  This method takes TIME.  PPC takes MONEY.  SEO takes TIME.  Either way, there will be an expenditure.  Personally, I use a mixture of techniques....PPC and SEO are more predictable, but Social Media is more fun!

Best,

Shecky

www.JeffsBusiness.com

Thank You, Linda!

Linda,

Appreciate you stopping by and reading my article. Thanks so much for the thumbs up!
You are obviously a true professional.

Your comment makes me feel so good, I could go for a delicious piece of dark chocolate! Yum. (smile)

~Melanie

You are a saving grace, Kerry

Kerry,

Bang On! Right On! BINGO.

Sorry you didn't hear back from Mike or Dave. They're probably too busy selling books and systems for success to people who are looking to buy a little "hope" (smile) And I bet they're raking in the dough as we speak!

I may do another article soon to expound on this subject. It seems that the majority of folks really and truly don't understand the Grand Canyon's sized difference between "Social Networking" and "Network Marketing".

Kudos to you, Kerry, and best wishes for tremendous success,

~Melanie

Seasoned Professionals Would Agree

Thanks for the thumbs up, Ilka!

I so appreciate and cherish your feedback and validation.

Warmest Regards,

~Melanie

Not a Fine Line at all, Mike

Mike,

First off, let me say that I love your profile photo. I've always had an affinity for black and white photography. Ever heard of Ansel Adams? He's my favorite.

Mike, there's not a fine line between "Social Networking" and "Network Marketing" ... it's more like the Great Divide!! There's a huge distinction between the two. I plan on writing about this topic soon. I believe I'll have a readership.

Without writing volumes here, (I tend to ramble on), allow me to offer up a pointer when it comes to "where do I begin"? Believe it or not, "internet marketing" (aka online marketing) really shouldn't be at the top of your priority list in building a network marketing business. Why, you ask? If the truth be told, online marketing is extremely TOUGH. And it's basically a method of marketing that should be implemented AFTER you've mastered a number of other methods first.

Please feel free to send me a DM here if you'd like to have a discussion. I'd be delighted to lend a hand and a listening ear.

~Melanie
http://melaniekissell.com

Like Your Style

Najeeullah,

"Business Partner is not as fake as 'would you like to be my friend'."

Couldn't agree with you more!

Thanks for your insight on various cultures and I love your sense of humor.

To Your Success,

~Melanie

Precisely, Tracey!

Tracey,

I am grateful for your keen observations and perception. You have a total understanding of what I was attempting to convey.

Precisely! ... "after you attract them and the rubber hits the road". That's when the serious relationship building begins.

Can't thank you enough, Tracey, for your clarification and validation.

Wishing you the very best of success,

~Melanie