How Well Do You Listen?

When was the last time you really listened to what a prospect had to say, I mean really listened. The next time you talk with a prospect, listen to their needs, their wants and their desires. Stop trying to think of profound things to say that will get them to jump at your opportunity. Remember it's not all about you or me, it's all about them. Think of how impressed they will be when the next time you talk with them you ask them "how did little Jimmy's math test go?" or "Is Susan feeling better today?"

Do you want to know how well you listen? Here's a test for you. I want you to close your eyes and count to 50. See how high you can count before your mind starts to wander. If you are like most people you will get to 10 or 15. Keep practicing until you can get to 50.

Here are some tips for you.

8 tips to use:
1. Listen with your heart, not just your head.

Some people have turned "fake listening" into an art form, with their
orchestrated nods, perfectly-timed "okays," and "you're rights." No one likes to
talk to someone who's mind is always somewhere else other than in their
conversation. Listen "in the moment' by stopping whatever you're doing, facing
the person, and giving the person direct eye contact.

2. Don't just be interesting, be interested.

If you really want to give someone your undivided attention, listen so you can
ask questions about what they're saying. Watch how the other person responds
when you demonstrate not only that you heard him, but you understood him as
well.

3. Take action to avoid distractions.

Hunger cramps, fatigue, television noise, music, cold temperature, time
pressures, slang, and several other factors are all considered communication
barriers. Try to eliminate as many of them as possible "before" you engage
someone in a conversation.

4. Persistently practice patience.

We can hear twice as fast as we speak, and this usually causes us to become
easily bored. This explains why some teachers can cure insomnia. Don't ever rush
the speaker to "get to the point" (regardless how tempting it is). Try to listen
for benefits that will serve you and your goals. You can start by always asking
yourself, "What can I learn from this person?"

5. Keep your mind open and your mouth shut.

Nothing stops us from listening quicker than an opinion that is in total
opposition to our own. Hold your judgment, and try your best to look at the
situation from "their" point of view. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
You're not always right but they're not always wrong either.

6. Listen between the lines.

We've all heard the saying, "It's not what you say, but how you say it." To take
this cliche even a step further, it's also what they "don't say" that can be
just as important. Make sure what people say and "don't say" to you are
consistent with their body language, eye movement, tone of voice, and speaking
rate.

7. Focus on the content, not just the character.

Avoid stereotyping people based on how they sound. Southerners are not "always"
less intelligent, a person who speaks French is not "always" more romantic,
someone who uses slang is not "always" uneducated, and so on. Listen to the
person, not the dialect. If you don't understand, ask for clarification.

8. Put your ego on hold.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone, pretend you're
both on a huge stage in front of a thousand people. Whenever one of you speaks,
the spotlight is focused on that person. Your goal is to keep the spotlight off
you as much as possible. You can only do this by listening.

As with any other skill, listening takes practice, patience, and persistence. If
you focus on mastering these eight strategies, you are well on your way to
becoming a student of influence. Not every good listener is an effective leader,
but believe me, every effective leader is a good listener. So get going and
start leading by listening.

I want to thank Bob and Anna Bassett for the inspiration to write this article and for a lot of the content.

To your success, whatever that success may be.

Donnie