I was frustrated with my lack of ability

Three years ago, at a three day event, with incredible speakers, I wondered what I was doing there. The event was wonderfully organized, met some good people but I was searching for something and I wasn't sure what. My attendance was simply to still the restlessness within me. I was hoping some or one of these speakers would give me some meat to chew on.

It happened. But not during the formal training. It came when a group of attendees chose a specific table to eat lunch together. The discussion, of course, was on what we had heard that morning. One speaker that morning had said "What hurts your heart also hurts Gods and he's given you the tools to reach out and fix the problem." We all shared what we were passionate about. But again, I was frustrated. How could I complete or even start to fix what hurt my heart - To make sure that no child should ever hurt. To protect, to love, to feed these babies who are hurting. It was too big. I didn't have the means. I didn't know where to start. I just didn't know.

One man, a minister in a neighbouring province, changed the subject and starting asking everyone to share a bit about their personal life. The stories were interesting. The people diverse. My turn came and I shared how and why I was raising the two babies I had at home and we joked about my age and my ability to keep up with them and how my older children were accepting the addition of two little ones. The lady on my left told her story and then the next.

It felt like an abrupt change of subject. One of the gentlemen around the table, leaned over and said something to me I will never forget. He words hit me like a ton of bricks. He asked me if I wasn't the one who had just finished saying I was frustrated with my lack of ability to save/protect/love these babies that were tearing my heart apart. "Yes, that was me." And you don't think you are fulfilling your passion by taking those two babies in? he asked. I started to say 'no' and stopped myself. My babies, my beautiful little babies would be on the street, hurting, hunger, cold, miserable, searching for love if it wasn't for me.

I had started already. I was living my passion. God must have been laughing at me. Here I was searching to find out what my purpose was in this life and God had already given me what I needed to fix. My journey had already started. My focus became crystal clear.

I needed to find the opportunity that would allow me to fund my passions. God brought it to me. I needed to relax into the knowledge that God had given me the skills I needed or would bring me the opportunities to learn them and then just wait on His timing.

Finding and working toward your passion is simply fulfilling the purpose God put you on this earth to do. How peaceful to have that understanding and knowledge.

To finding yours,

Joyce Penner