Dale Carnegie On People Skills

Dale Carnegie “There is one all-important law of human conduct…Always make the other person feel important.”  Today I was reading from the chapter, How to make people like you instantly, from the book How to win friends & influence people and wanted to share a key human principle.  Carnegie shares a story where he decides while waiting at the post office that he will try and make a post office clerk like him.  Carnegie asks himself, what is there about this person I can honestly admire?  After deciding he offered a genuine sincere compliment to the gentleman.  “I certainly wish I had your head of hair”, said Carnegie.  The gentleman smiled and returned a reply “Well, it isn’t what it used to be.” Carnegie then replied, “Although it might have lost some of its pristine glory, nevertheless it was still magnificent.”  The gentleman was immensely pleased.  This struck up a pleasant conversation and the last comment from the gentleman was: “Many people have admired my hair.”  I’ll bet if something like this happened to you it would make your day.  You would even want to share the experience with others and possibly pass on a similar gesture to someone else.

Understand that the intention is not about getting something out of someone, which seems to be the selfish intent of most people these days, but rather giving to others.  Carnegie goes on to say, “If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something in return…we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.  Oh yes, I did want something…I got the feeling that I had done something for him without his being able to do anything whatever in return for me.”

You want approval from those who you encounter…recognition of your true worth…to feel important…you are not alone.  William James, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”   The secret is you have to give it to get it.  Apply this to your personal, work, business…all aspects of your life and be successful in satisfying the craving of not only you, but many others.

I hope this lesson gives you a positive way to approach your day and life by attracting what you want from the world through what you put out there.  I look forward to sharing more with you in the future, take care.