8 Ways To Self Sabotage Your Success And What To Do About It

Years ago my business was a mess.  I was plagued by debt collectors, overdue bills, and financial chaos.  Deep inside I knew that I had to change what I was doing.  

I remember those times so well.  And all I could think about was:

"But I need money now."

But I also knew it would take time, hard work, and investment.  I was a sucker for any headline that said “Make Money Now” and I spent a fortune on books, videos, and training – but I wasn’t really learning.

I was spending my time reading, studying, and watching videos -- avoiding actually doing the work.

I blamed my company.  I blamed the compensation plan.  I blamed the process.  I blamed the guru.  I even blamed the prospects I tried so hard to convince.

I told myself, “Tomorrow.  Tomorrow I’ll change.  Tomorrow I’ll be a winner.  Tomorrow I’ll do what successful people do.”

A day became a week, then a month, and then a year. The hole kept getting deeper and deeper, as I kept searching for the fast fix...the easy fix…the ONE system that would save me.  I really started to panic.  I was desperate.

Sound familiar?

And then reality hit me like a right hook – all at once – out of the blue: I was sabotaging myself.  I was finally hurting enough, and wanted success badly enough, that the only solution was to change.

In that moment, I realized exactly what I had been doing…and conducted an honest self-inventory.  I’m sharing it with you in the hope that I can help you wake up the same way I did.  Here’s the 8-point checklist that literally turned my life – and my business – around!

1.    Check Your Attitude

I took a long hard look at what I had been telling myself was responsible for my failure – and realized it wasn’t the business…it wasn’t the product…it wasn’t the comp plan…it wasn’t the prospects.  It was my failure to recognize – and change – the attitudes, thoughts and habits that were keeping me stuck.

I vowed to give up:

•    The “Fast Fix” that got me “busy” doing everything else but working on my business

•    The “Easy Fix” that gave me no real knowledge

•    The “Secret System” that never helped me build any skill

I started the real work…from the inside out…from the realization that what I was doing just wasn’t working!

2.    Check Your Self Worth

I realized why I wasn't making the money. It had nothing to do with any of the usual excuses.  It was simply this...

I did not value myself.  I never examined my perception about money.    So I never earned very much – and when I had it, I spent it recklessly.   Lacking self-worth and not valuing money is a recipe for disaster.

Money is a mindset – and it has everything to do with how much you value yourself.

You can read as many freaking books you want, take all the courses and webinars and all the rest - but if you don’t understand the money mindset, it’s just about guaranteed that when you have a prospect who is ready to buy - you'll open your big mouth and kill the deal.

When the deal dies, you’ll offer up all kinds of BS reasons, like:

•    "Oh, but I just want to help people."

•    "And everything worth knowing is out there for free anyway."

•    "The gurus out there charge way too much, and they should just save the world!"

The real answer is this:  you lack self-worth. You see no value in yourself and experience guilt when you get the chance to make money. Deep inside you is “programming” that needs to get sorted out.  That programming creates a “payoff” designed to mask what amounts to your fear of success-- and keep you in your comfort zone.

Until you sort it out, you'll never move forward.

My mentors have helped me sort that programming out on many different levels. I’m no longer so desperate and guilty – and I have the luxury of ignoring all the “tire kicker” excuses out there.

3.    Get A Mentor

When I got smart -- and serious -- I chose a Mentor who was known for marketing strategies. He offered me valuable advice and made a lot of sense.

My Mentor confirmed my problem, then told me bluntly: "Nothing is going to change until you stop doing what broke people do. Now, have you had enough of trying the fast, easy way? Are you ready to do the REAL WORK?" I said yes…and invested the $5000 he asked for to get the coaching I knew I so desperately needed.

And so began my path of mentorship.  The first thing I saw was that just about everything I had ever done was wrong.  All of the books, all of the courses, all of the “training” just sat there on top of my old perceptions, and I couldn’t take it in, but thought I had figured it all out.

I closed all my websites, blogs and everything else, and then began taking each piece apart, putting it back together, and testing, tweaking, and perfecting it.

That's how I learned to beat the debt collectors.  That's how I learned I didn't need any more hot shot gurus with fast, easy systems.  That’s how I learned to go my own way.   

4.    Be “Teachable”

The path wasn't easy at first.  It never is. But it does get easier with knowledge, skill and true understanding.

One thing I learned that has helped me is this..

What you THINK you know about what you KNOW about marketing – LET GO OF IT. Or stay where you are, pretending to be a hot shot.

If what you have done has not got you where you want to be, then why pretend you know a darn thing? Why not just let it go and be humble and ready to receive?

5.    Check Your “Humble" Meter

Most people are not humble, and end up where they are by their OWN CHOICE.  It’s chronic.  It pervades society and especially it pervades this industry.

I got to know my Mentor as a person, observing, asking questions and joining his inner circle to learn. He wasn't the type who spells it all out – he made me think for myself, too.

That made me do my homework and actually helped me REMEMBER exactly why, what and how to.

He didn't do the work for me either. I had to learn the skills he indicated, and learn them I did,  mastering each one step by step.  It took longer… it took a deeper level of understanding... BUT... it worked!

What worked?

Getting clients without a blog and everything else that most people teach.  Instead, focusing on money-making activities.

So while most people were looking at my online stuff and wondering "How come he hasn't got an awesome website, blog, and all that other stuff?" I was focusing on money making activities WHILE testing what works and what doesn't work.  

In other words, I concentrated on cash flow first.

Isn't that a novel idea!

I actually started generating money, instead of wasting my time fiddling around with my blog.

That was only one of the things I learned from my mentor – and only NOW is my website about to launch. How many of you here have known me for some time? Probably a lot of you -- but you see, here's the magic...

It pays to be humble, observe and learn.

I’m smiling now that my dust-up with chaos is over – but I’m also seeing that same chaos in so many other people today.

I think that chaos occurs because people are so busy trying to be a hot shot that their lives, families, and pockets suffer. It's like the culture has wiped away any sense of HUMILITY.  You need to realize that you have to LEARN first before you can be an expert.

6.    Check Your Self Respect

Your Mentor will not be doing what 97% of the online marketers out there are doing:

•    He will not plaster his links all over the place

•    He will not copy and paste his articles on random forum threads.

•    He will not chase anyone

•    He won’t go around trying to prove anything to anyone.

He will be very particular about who to coach. He’ll ask questions first -- and may even say no, but politely, until you’ve learned enough from his material to grow your mindset.

A good Mentor has no need to convince anyone who has already convinced themselves that it's all over for them.

A good Mentor has a higher calling. He’s got self-respect, and values his knowledge. He won’t give it away to just anyone.

You have to prove that you’re worth mentoring.  A good Mentor already has a business, so Mentorship for them is a joy, an inspiration, a higher calling -- and he will charge you for his time.

But he won’t waste time mentoring someone arrogant -- who doesn't not follow through and implement.

7.    Always Be In A  Learning Mode

A business owner may find out the hard way that much of what they've built won't help them.  They got the blog, opt in form, a list and still....no sale.  What's missing?

The ones who get successful discover what I did years ago - I did EVERYTHING wrong! Completely wrong!

And to accept that is difficult. To embrace the truth is not easy. It wasn't easy for me. It hurt like a sucker punch to the ribs and it hurt for a while.

But in the end you can go on doing the same things that haven’t got you any results, pretending everything will fix itself. You can invest in more books and shiny objects - thinking just more/better/different is going to do it.

You can scour the internet for freebies and try the 'self-pity' approach to get free mentorship, pleading “but I can't afford it."

Or wise up and say goodbye to excuses and get a Mentor.

If you haven't got money, you shouldn't be running a business.  Get a job first.  Sort your home out first!  Use the job as a safety net for a while, as you get mentored and get yourself on track.

And if the job you have doesn’t pay you enough and you end up using THAT as an excuse... then as I say to people who don't get it yet...

Learn, become more valuable, and get a better paying job.

8.    Realize You Are Never Alone - But...

There is always that one lesson a person misses.  This lesson will be one of them.   It won’t be heard by those who aren’t humble enough.

•    It won't be heard by the jack of all trades.

•    Nor the self-professed guru who is broke and has to launch another freaking product or system.

•    Nor the beginner, who thinks that they FIRST get a blog, put their face on it and then speak like an expert.

•    Nor the person who thinks the world owes them something and everyone is just out to take their money.

•    Nor the fool who visits blog after blog, leaves a comment for a backlink, and links their website to their name.

It will be heard by someone who has...

•    Spent hundreds or even thousands of dollars on systems and they’re tired, frustrated and don’t understand what is missing.

•    Felt helpless while their partner wonders when the big day is going to happen…when the cash will start flowing in.

•    Wondered when all the late nights and hours on spent on blogging, forums, Facebook, or Twitter is going to pay off

•    Finally had enough of just staying afloat

•    Recognized they are in FULL CONTROL OF THEIR LIVES.  Period! No more slavery.  No more pretending.  No more fantasy! But Certainty.

•    Realized that no sad story is going to make a mentor who charges do it for free.

Nothing is really free. Nothing.   The world owes us nothing.  It was here before all of us.

But no one is ever alone. There’s always help if you’re ready for it, and mature enough to accept it.

Mentorship is there ...but you'll have to claw your way up to get access to it.  You'll have to respect it.

You'll have to realize that getting Mentored is not a right – it’s a privilege.

There have been far too many people abusing leadership and mentorship just to get attention.  They lack humility.  They think the Mentor “owes” them help.  They try to sell their sob story to justify getting mentoring for free.  Or they may have the $5000 (or whatever the Mentor charges), but if their attitude stinks, an honorable Mentor will tell them "No thanks. Not interested. Find someone else."

But if you do enough soul searching and find the humility and courage within yourself to decide you’ll do whatever it takes to learn what you have to learn to be successful, you’ll never be alone.

You decide whether you’re ready to rise above your ego and get help. You figure it out -- because Mentors like people to THINK for themselves.
. .....

That's who is the message is for -- those who can THINK --  and those who take their business seriously.

Adam Taha