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Let Go of Negative People! How Your Peers Are Killing Your Business!
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Look, I’m going to be honest with you here and say that as I sat down to write this article today, I was clear in my mind what I wanted to say to you, and as is often my habit I went looking for supportive quotes to illustrate my point and get my message across to you effectively.
I wanted to make the point that if success has so far eluded you in your life there are a whole lot of reasons why – and I’ve written about them recently – SEE HERE.
However, one topic I’ve not covered until now is your peer group! Your friends, relatives and other hangers on that may be holding you back!
Now THIS quote, purported to be from General Colin Powell (retired) is a LONG one AND it says so brilliantly, so completely what I wanted to say to you, I feel it would detract from his eloquent message if I were to chop, change or cut it in anyway, so in the interests of making you sit up and listen, I quote it – uncut...
“Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An
important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative
thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will
change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you
to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to
crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that
don't increase you will eventually decrease you.
Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems
with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who
never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has
a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the
bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone
who's not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful
where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the
person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you
will learn how to soar to great heights.
"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the
kind of friends he chooses."
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
closely associate - for the good and the bad.
Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends.
Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will
always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first
and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and
will fit somewhere in the criteria above.
"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends."
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters.
Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.."
Now honestly, who am I to argue with a 4 star General and former Secretary of State!
And I’m not going to – I completely agree with him!
The question is... are any of YOUR friends and relatives holding you back? If they are... what are you going to do about it?
Not so easy if they are family! Difficult if they are still friends you value for any number of good reasons.
One other dimension I want to add to what the General said.
A little bit about the, shall we say, ‘psychology’ of friendship?
Suppose you have a group of friends who you go bowling with a couple of times a week. And suppose you decide that in order to grow your business, you need that time to work at home on your computer.
What are they going to do when you tell them you are leaving and why?
Naturally, they’re going to implore you to stay! First it will be because they’re going to miss you. But soon, they might pick a quarrel with you about what you are doing instead.
What’s happening here – is you are ‘outgrowing’ them and they feel threatened by this.
They fear losing you and since they cannot and do not want to, do what you are doing, their only alternative is to try everything they can to suck you back to their level!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not picking on ‘bowlers’ in particular – this is a just a hypothetical illustration.
However, as you outgrow your friends, they will try to (usually with well meaning intent) to stifle your ‘growth’ – so you can carry on operating at their level and be their friend!
Your question is... are you happy being a bowler for the rest of your life, or do you want something more?
No judgement here – either answer would be right – if that’s what you want!
However, mindful of what the General says, it all depends upon your own vision for your life!
If anything I would critique the General’s statement for being too judgemental. Some people are very happy with their ‘mediocre’ lives!
If you are... then in all likelihood you are never going to come across an article on a site like this in the first place!
If you are not... then you need to ACT upon what you have been reminded of today!
Remember, if you want change in your life....
The Change Begins With YOU!
Robin J Emdon
Success Coach &
Attraction Marketing Professional
Phone: 0044 1803 897501