What’s YOUR Story? Is It Poisoning or Nourishing Your Life & Your Chances of Success!

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We live our lives through the stories we tell ourselves and others.

This should not come as a surprise to you!

Look at these examples of stories...

“When I was a child people teased me because I was shy and now I have trouble making friends....”

“I’m getting old and it’s too late to start anything new....”

“I’m worried about my health but I don’t have time to do anything about it...”

“I’ve never been successful, why would that  change now?”

“My parents died young, so I probably will too!”

“I’m living paycheck to paycheck and I have debts that would sink a battleship!”

Do you see? This tiny selection are JUST stories!

Now think for a moment about the stories you tell yourself (and others!) all the time.

The stories you tell yourself that define your identity – for example, stories of your childhood; your marriage; your past business ventures.

And then ask yourself this question...

Is that story empowering me or disempowering me?

In other words – is it a toxic negative story, or is it a nourishing, positive story that drives you!

Now I’m making this sound easier than it really is! Why?

Because sometimes we are so familiar with our ‘story’ – we think it MUST be OK because it’s been around for such a long time and ‘hey, I haven’t done so bad!’ – you might be telling yourself!

My challenge to you... take a step back and ask yourself – if you heard someone else telling you the exact same story, what impression would it give to you?

Would you see them as someone with a positive mindset?

Would you regard them as someone who is almost destined/bound to succeed?

Would you see them as someone who is stuck in the past? Or

Someone who is driving with passion and purpose into a brighter future?

A clue!

If the story sounds like an ‘excuse’ – it is!!

Now, why is this important?

Because as I’ve already hinted at, we take our IDENTITY from our ‘stories’ and if those stories are negative and disempowering – well, hello!!! Is it any wonder that things are not working out in quite the way you hoped!

Think about it... what kind of stories do ‘successful’ people tell? Do you hear them whinging and whining about their broken past? Or do they put a positive spin on the past and explain how it made them what they are today?

And there’s my final clue!

You can CHANGE the MEANING of your story!

Listen, you DO have a choice...

Either STOP telling the story! OR

Change what it means to you!

Either way is good!

Let me give you an example of what I mean...

Which story would YOU choose if these were the ONLY two you could choose from....

“Hi, my name is (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) and when I was a child my Father was an alcoholic and my Mother died when I was 9 so I was left to fend for myself and my younger sister most of the time.....” OR

“Hi, my name is (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) and I am strong, resourceful person who can do anything I put my mind to and I will do whatever it takes to be even more successful, whilst putting my family first.”

Now... first... do you see the difference?

Both stories could be true!

But how do they make YOU feel (imagining for a moment they were YOUR stories).

If someone told me the first story, I’d obviously feel sympathy for them and maybe empathy if I had a difficult childhood too, but are they telling me they are a successful person?

Well, in the second story... which by the way, may well be the RESULT of the harsh life experience talked about in the first, they’re telling me what a successful, resourceful, strong person they are!

More to the point... they’re telling THEMSELVES that!

One objection here is ‘what’s wrong with telling the story of a troubled childhood or life or whatever the story is about.

My answer is a simple one and I urge you to write this down on ‘post-it’ notes all over the house to meditate upon.

YOU are NOT your story!

What you ARE – is the meanings you have attached to those stories!

What you ARE – are your emotions and feelings

What you ARE – is how you show up every day as a human – your behaviour, your personality!

If you use your story as ‘excuse’ for disempowering, negative behaviours (see my article on The 7 Bad Habits of Highly Ineffective People) – then guys and gals... you need to (remember!) either stop telling the story altogether OR attach new empowering meanings to it!

Personally, being brutally honest with you... I have a childhood story of mine own and it’s no fairy tale – I NEARLY used it as an example here – rather than a fictional one. BUT I chose NOT to, because even now, I felt it’s potential power over me and made a conscious decision by excluding  it from this article, to NOT to give it any power!

I was reminded of what I tell my clients – it’s YOU I am interested in... NOT your story!

So, for preference, if the story is negative... just stop telling it!!!

And... if you really feel you can’t then – you really must do some work on attaching new meanings to it! – But that’s a BIG subject and for now... I think and hope I’ve given you enough in this article to contemplate.

BE YOURSELF – NOT – YOUR STORY!

(unless it’s GOOD one!)

Remember, if you want change in your life....
The Change Begins With YOU!

Robin J Emdon
Success Coach &
Attraction Marketing Professional

Phone: 0044 1803 897501
Skype: lifemaestro
Email: robin@robinjemdon.com

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