Pillar Two Of The Compassionate Leader – The Mentor

In those magical day, when I was blessed to sit for just a slight moment, I saw something I will always remember. Something I have always hungered to see and become.

It cannot be shown; it doesn’t act or has a script. It doesn’t do drama's or acting. No, it is natural and just flows like all things that are true to it’s nature. It is the energy and that charismatic feeling you feel when you sit and talk with your mentor.

The amazing part is that he or she doesn’t even remind you  that they invited you to the business. The amazing part is they are your buddy, your friend and the one who you know, without a shadow of doubt, will keep all your words, all that you have shared hidden, locked within their own hearts.

They have gone through many trails in their life. They have gone through so many no’s and evaluated their journey. They have crafted a system or adapted it into their lives and applied with precision. The mentor has struggled with his inner self. They have met the person on the other side. Themselves. And they have become one with themselves. You see only one face and not a two faced.

Be aware my friends that an upline and a mentor are two different things altogether.  A mentor is someone who is successful, he or she are at that place NOT because of their words alone. They have put the time, the consistent effort, the investment in knowledge and you can see the success before your very own eyes.

People surround them and chase them for knowledge. They do not chase anyone. Remember what I said, “they never chase anyone,” and not because of ego, or because they think they are better than anyone else.

It is courtesy, it is integrity, and it is respect for an individual’s space. It is respect for the industry. It is respect for your self. It is the laws of success, where a mentor attracts what they are and what so many people want to be. Choose your mentor wisely.

Choosing Your Mentor Wisely
Choose them wisely because they have the map to guide you. Choose them because they do not care about recognition but rather, they want to serve people, build a huge business and surpass diverse borders. Choose someone you can trust and that you benefit from their advice. Choose them carefully because a mentor is for life.

I have had mentors in my life and some have past away. Some are still with me today and they are in different fields. When I was in the Graphic and Web Design, I had a mentor who was a Marketing Director and ran companies all over the world. He opened the door for me to meet so many graphic designers.

He created the environment because a mentor knows this one essential thing. It is:

“I create the environment in which people can grow.”

Now ask yourself what does this mean? It means, they have created a system, a way, a place, a process in which anyone from anywhere can step in and learn, duplicate. The chasing has been taken away and now it is the responsibility of the learner to LEARN.

That way no one manages anyone. No one pushes anyone. No one blames anyone and when this is given to someone serious, they LOVE it. Yes, they love it because it's now their business. Ownership all the way!
 
 

The Management Mentality
I read a story where a manager took the CEO to the top of a hill. He wanted to show something important. At the top of the hill, the manager said:

"Look, can you see the vision. The dream. Can you see our next superstores?"
"Yes, I can!"
"Can you see the tennis courts and the great parking lot we will create?"
"Yes, Yes, I can!"
"Can you see the Empire you will build?"
"Yes, wow! I can see it!"

Then the manager turned to the CEO and said:

"If you don't stop working hard in managing us and let us loose, you WILL NEVER have these."

The message here is loud and clear. Don't manage people in your business. They are not looking for a job but a business. They want something that belongs to them. Stop pushing them and push yourself. You should be busy building your business not managing people. Let the system take care of this part of the business. If they need your help they will ask you for help. Period.

The Door Kept Open
A Mentor creates a positive environment in which you can feel at ease. You walk in and walk away with positive energy, hope and the knowledge that no matter if you get stuck, here, your mentor’s door is open. No doors are closed until you shut them. The day a mentor shuts a door on anyone by being rude, by hurting people, by not admitting their mistakes is the day they lost their way or need to grow even more.

It doesn’t take much to be civil. Actually, that is a sign of a great leader.

This compassionate leader did something amazing. He stopped the other leaders and said:

"No, this is a very good question. No question is too small...."

In that moment a great lesson was taught. The one who asked the question felt like they were the most important human being in that room. Unfortunately, some of the inexperienced leaders did not understand the wisdom. Trust me. They didn’t last long in the business. You can’t if you repel people.
There are great words of wisdom I like to share with you. Here are these words:

It is not the advance of our true selves
Its roots are inward but its fruits is outward
It is our best friend or our worst enemy
It is more honest and more consistent than our words
It is our outward look based on past experiences
It is a thing which draws people to us or repels them
It is never content until it is experienced
It is the librarian of our past
It is the speaker of our present
It is the prophesy of our future

So here is what we need to really think about:

Do They Respect You Or Fear You?
Are people scared to ask us for help? Are you approachable or got some chip, ego on that shoulder of ours? You want to hold onto that status, recognition, pin or are you ready to build the business?

A great mentor is someone who can mingle within the crowd of students and not even know, he is the mentor. This is called humility and humility is not a show but a sign of human strength and character. A strength not seen sometimes within all industries.

Mentors are here to serve and only to serve. There are no moments in which we think that a question is small or too big to answer. There is only to help our fellow human being to find out more about themselves and how amazing they are. There is only to point people the way and for them to see the map a mentor has followed and applied.

There is no secret. This is the greatest myth of all time and mentors, work to shatter this belief that there is some great hidden secret to leadership and success. It takes work. Hard and Smart work. It takes dedication, conviction, discipline and a mentor who can show the way.

A mentor must then radiate this honesty to his or her students. They must know that life doesn’t owe anyone anything. It was here before the human race ever existed! Treat life with arrogance and it will treat you with the same venom you gave it. Respect it and work hard and smart, and it will reward any human being. It is the law that governs the universe.

Imagine how many are scared to ask just because they might be ridiculed. Compassionate Leaders have been there. Sometimes, they too, had to one day face the enormous task, in taking their own leader aside, and say, "Change or you cannot lead me this way."

It is a scary moment. A moment in which you don’t know where to turn but then you learnt something. You know that hard work can beat talk. Consistency can beat procrastination. Discipline can beat talent. Determination can beat down any wall that stands before. Faith can bring you the RIGHT mentor and you know now, what is a good mentor.

Hence, I say this and you may have heard this quote before, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

So position yourself. Do not wait for the teacher to come but rather, meet them by following your quest in building your business, your life and march forward towards your dreams.

Know Your Self And Always Be In The Knowing
A day came for me a while back. It came for many I knew and who were in different companies too. Some never found the strength or courage to say, "NO! This is our business. You cannot bring me down in front of others ever. This is wrong.”

It was one of the darkest days in my life because my other uplines were in USA and still are. I was about to be stranded alone. I was about to say no to that person's mentorship. I had to make that decision and not because of spite. Either that bridge is built, either that relationship is built on truth or I must go my own way.

You may face that day and my God forbid it so. It is the day when you must have courage. You will have many questions. Questions like - what about the team? Where do I go then for training? Who will now mentor me? How am I going to learn to move to the next level?

And you may think you have no choice. Think again. You have CHOICE. The choice to believe that you are no slave to any man or human being twisted ego desires. Life has already planned for you a great teacher. You just don't know it. Belief in your self.

Believe In Your Self
My friend, when you are determined, when you follow that sharp edged of truth, when you know success is not based on luck but Labour Under Correct Knowledge. When you know that no human being is God or has control of your fate, and destiny, then you will not live in that fear. Rather you live in the knowing.

No matter where you go. No matter what organisation, industry, job, communities, there will always be someone or something you will not like. Now, we can run away or we can face it head on. I chose to face it head one. I believed in the business. I believed in the system. I believed in my team and know they are adults and I am powerless to change the destiny of any human being.

The Rewards You Will Recieve Are Beyond What You Can Imagine
The moment I stepped into that realm of truth, and worked hard, consistency, was the moment life took care of everything else. It was the moment it beared the fruits and showed who is talk, and who is action. And action my friends surpasses any larger than life speech. Have faith in your self. You are an incredible human being but maybe, no one told you it enough time to see it. Every human being is. Yes, every human being.

It did something else that I never thought would happen at that magnitude. My wife looked at me like she never looked at me before. I saw the respect in her eyes for me. I saw that I was her hero. That my words of truth were not just words. This meant more to me than any medal, any recognition, pin no matter if it was stapled with diamonds.

People Can Also Leave Due To Hurt feelings
I promise you today, if you do not read what I say to you, then you will learn the hard way. That people leave many a times, due to hurt feelings. My business moved, not because I was so successful in getting leads. I had to learn for sometime to do this.

Yes, it is in the list. Yes, it is in calling that list when people submit their details at your capture page. Yes, it is in the way you utilise technology and the world to brand yourself but let me please make something clear for us all, my friends:

The Blessing People Bring Into Your Life
My business did not move because I was successful in getting leads and that’s it. This is but half of the story. I was terrible at it. I was so clumsy in my life that if I visited your home at that time, you’d have to create bars around your expensive vases. I would sometimes bump into things and muddle my words when I spoke.

I was that clumsy; nervous.

It is what I did with the people when the blessings stepped into my life. Yes, I say blessing because when people come into your life, it is a blessing. They bring culture, they bring  history, friendship, compassion, a yearning to be free. They bring the desire to learn and to learn from you. They bring a common goal and that is to be better human beings and succeed in all areas of life. Especially family, relationship and business.

They bring their family and most of all; they bring hope to their life and yours. They accompany you on the greatest journey of yours and their life. Together, you will succeed. Together you win.

It is a blessing my friend because the day you was born, was the day they were planned by the universal law, to be part of your life. That universal law isn’t our right. It’s not going to just give to you or me because it is inscribed on some universal book of life.

You have to work at it. You have to reach your heart to it. You have to transcend and overcome your own fears. You have to focus your mind, fixed that target, aim and the fire. You have to be the leader and the mentor you were meant to be.

When you honour your dreams, your wishes, your wants, your desire of having a better life to help your self, family and people around you – then it happens. Life gives you what is destined to you. Destiny is not a right. It is a privilege. It is there for those who strive towards it. It is there who make themselves ready for it.

One of my most favourite quotes in developing leaders around you by John. C. Maxwell is:

“People do not miss opportunity. People don’t get it because they themselves do not prepare for it.”

Are you strong enough to build your business or are you going to push people away due to frustrations, lack of application of what we learn?

In The Good Or Difficult Times
The Compassionate Leader may receive a call one day from one of his team or downline. They may say, "we need space, and.."

Then the leader will listen. He or she will ask how they hurt them. The leader will listen and here is where the heart of the leader is revealed. Here is who you ARE in their eyes:

You reply, "Thank you for telling me this. I am sorry if I have in anyway hurt your feelings. I hope you are ok. No problem. Give me a call whenever you wish.”

And the door is left open. No ill feelings.

You could have brought blame on them. You could have said how wrong they are and that you were right. You could have said that you know better because you associate with the top guns of your business.

You could do that and I will say, “you need to calm down and look at the bigger picture. The call is a cry for help! So help them. Listen and stop talking! Just listen and let that bridge that has come between you and the student fall into a thousand pieces, so you both can now move forward, at last!

At least, they have called YOU! No one else but you! They have not done what society, media and magazines teach. They didn’t gossip but plucked up the courage to call. It may have taken them months to just do that.

In mediocre life and with mediocre people – they talk about someone behind their back. This flies through to other people. It continues and hurts not just one person but many.

And yet here, this person must have thought much about you. They must have great respect for you and call you and no one else. Our egos can be so inflated and we are so defensive that we don’t realise this.

Isn’t that what you and I wanted all our lives as mentors? To have people who can speak to us when they are worried. Or call because they thought we said something to them and they feel hurt. This is building relationship.
It should not be taken as an offense. Rather, it is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And yet, here is the very thing that happens when this amazing, beautiful opportunity comes:

No, "I said NOTHING! You have insulted ME! You have insulted our leaders! You have insulted this business. I brought you into my family house and…”

By the way, many have said this to people to lose their team and to never see them again.

Many return and build their business when their mentor listened and apologised.

“Positive Confrontation is a sure sign that you CARE for the person.”

When do you know of real faith? It is not in the sweetest years of our life but in the times when we face the greatest challenges of our lives.

So when do you know the true face of friendship? It is not in the good times my friend! It is in the hard times. It is in those times of confrontation.

How To Save A Lot Of Time, Headaches And Make Less Mistakes
Choose your mentor wisely because a mentor is not only about business but they can also bring sunshine to all the spheres of your life. They are your life long friend. Your buddy who will stand with you, side by side, when a great army of challenges are heading towards you. It is important that communication is clear but if transparency isn't there, it can stall someone's growth. It can stall your growth. The benefits of finding the right mentor for you is vital to your business.

For example, the mentor will have all angles covered and that army will fall right in a ditch that he or she prepared. You will then wonder how on earth did you mentor know? How did they see what you didn't see at that time? How could they find that blind spot?

Here’s how - they’ve been there so many times before. They've succeeded. They have tried so many ways and failed, to find what works.  Anything you might say and all the ideas might already been heard, tried, tested and some worked, others didn't. They can save you a lot of time, money and headache!

If there is no transparency from both parties, then whenever a student gives questions, and they are not the real ones they want to ask, trouble is a head. Suddenly the student is standing beside the mentor he or she doesn't trust. The army of challenges come but wait! They are not coming from the front. They are not coming from the right. They are not even coming from the left. Where is the problem? What is it stopping this growth.

Suddenly the problems come from behind and when they come, you both turn, and too late. It will save a lot of time, when transparency, and the trust is between both parties. So no use having a mentor you don't trust. Makes sense.

That’s the beauty of mentorship. Find someone who is where you want to be. Someone you can trust, someone you can learn from and have a long term learning, business relationship. Someone you can be transparent with.

People want to be part of a great leader. They want to be part of the best team. They want to have the best system. Mentorship is indeed the most beautiful, amazing way to educate any human being. It is the greatest pillar of Giving.

What an amazing life that is.

The next pillar I will cover is - The Compassionate Leader Who Gives Without Want

Adam Taha