Ruffled feathers: Why people upset us

“Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life -- for weak people who cannot keep their
balance without them”
- Laura Teresa Marquez

We can all recall times when people ruffled our feathers, upset us or tick us off. But why do some people never get bothered, upset or bent out of shape?

It’s because they have learned to apply conflict management skills when events could otherwise make them upset.

FACT: If a veterinarian sees a bird with ‘ruffled feathers’ they know something is wrong and the bird needs care. As human beings, studies now reveal that anger and conflict release toxic hormone – cortisol – into our systems. If this is not managed, the body can become seriously ill.

Conflicts, when effectively dealt with, are great opportunities for growth. You may know the skills for doing so, but can you apply them consistently?

1. Take the emotion out of it. The worst thing you can do when dealing with a conflict is become defensive or angry. If you start feeling upset, excuse yourself for a moment, count o 10, and return when you’re feeling objective again.

2. Become a better listener. We’ve all done it: someone says something we don’t like and we’re instantly thinking about a rebuttal. That’s the wrong move. Most people have their ears open but they aren’t really listening.

3. Find the common ground. We have a tendency to focus on things we disagree on, which is counterproductive. If you think about it, there’s always a lot more we agree about that we disagree about. When you acknowledge commonality, you instantly diffuse the situation.

4.Give objective criticism. People will be more inclined to come to you with problems if they feel that they are appreciated and taken seriously. That said, praise the person when they come and talk to you about hard issued. Appreciate the person, challenge the issues, and bring about change.

You don’t really need to have ‘ruffled feathers’! It’s for the birds!

Checkout the Certification by going to www.axel.myprofileworldwide.com and head for the online store.