Social Proof - On Driving a Car Without Reverse

How To Get a Girl To Look Past Your Junk Car, Your Lack of Employment, Your Old Age and even Extra 'Baggage'...

"My compadre, He looks like royalty in that picture."
                                       - My Father's Friend             

The other day I was having lunch with my mom at a Mexican Restaurant and we got to talking about my father and how she had chosen to marry him.

The thing that my mom confessed about first meeting my dad, was that she was not attracted to him AT ALL.

My father wasn't a bad looking guy, he was just... well... kinda old.

My father had some extra baggage around his waist (I inherited this gene), was 18 years older than my mom and the only source of income he had was performing as a Mariachi at bars around Southern California and Tijuna..

So it would seem like he really didn't have much going for him... at least not on the surface.

Giving Without Want, Before You Can Have

You see one of the reasons why my father married so late in his life was because he had selflessly dedicated the first part of his life to helping raise his younger brothers and sisters, financially support everyone in his family and shield them from the abuse of his father, my grandfather.

He didn't move forward with his life, until he was sure that everyone of his brothers and sisters were going to be ok.

My father had to grow up really fast and at really young age, but unlike many people with a dysfunctional youth, that experience actually made my father a great provider, a strong leader, and provided him with the ability to selflessly give to others without expecting anything in return.

This experience coupled with his deep philosophical understanding of his faith formed what my mother would later see -- a magnificent human being. Even at times, when people he helped were not grateful or took him for granted, it didn't matter.

My father had a saying, "If they don't appreciate me, God will".

But when my mother first met my dad, she could not see the great person that was before her.

Driving a Car Without "Reverse"

All she could think about at her young age were the superficial things like financial stability, youth, good looks and someone with a fancy car...

Did I mention that my dad, when they were dating, would drive my mom around in a car, which could not operate in reverse? He had to strategically park everywhere they went, so that he didn't have to back up.

Eventually, the police had to impound the car and take it from my father because it gave off too much smoke and was a safety hazard. LOL!

But my dad wasn't naive either. He knew what was up. He just had a great attitude about everything.

He couldn't do much about his age, finances or looks. But what he could do was treat my mom with respect, show the quality person he was, serenade my mom (remember he was a mariachi) and do what he could do with the resources he had.

Testimonials - My Father's Secret Weapon

However, according to my mom it wasn't really any of that stuff that won her heart, ultimately.

The one thing that my dad did, which really had a huge impact on how she felt for him was that they would always spend time around friends, and family (from both my mom and dad's side) who knew my father personally.

And whether it was my mom's aunt or my father's friends, every chance they got, they would praise my father and talk about what a wonderful guy he was, and how he had helped them.

My mother could not escape it.

Person after person, friend after friend, family member after family member, had nothing but great things to say about my father, and told countless stories as to how he had helped and impacted their lives.

And what seemed like DeJavu, everyone of them would say, "Like Coco, there is no other. No one is as good as him." (Coco was my father's nickname.)

Misery Incarnate

One day, my mom was over at her aunt's house and she noticed a picture of my father wearing a suit in a portrait. She stopped to look at it.

Also at the house was a friend of my father... in fact, my father was the only friend this guy had.

This guy was quite possibly one of the most negative people you'll ever meet. He was an alcoholic, hated people, was alone, constantly got into fights..... let's just say, he was misery incarnate.

Well, this guy walked up next to my mom and looked at the portrait alongside her and said, "My compadre. He looks like royalty in that picture... he is royalty." Then he turned around and walked away.

My father was the only person in the world, this miserable person cared for and respected.

I sat on the opposite side of the table as my mom recounted these experiences and she said that she felt as if she had fallen in love with my father through everyone that had praised him over those first few months...

She never had a chance...

She started noticing that the superficial criterion that she had tried to measure my father up to, was just that... superficial.

The Power of Social Proof

Through the testimonials of all these people -- young, old, male, female, drunk, sober, family, friends, musicians, acquaintences, bar tenders-- she got to see the impact and influence that my father had over countless lives and how much he enriched them.

A year after having met my father, they married, had 4 kids (I was the 3rd) and lived an extraordinarily happy life. When my father passed away when I was 13, there was absolutely no doubt just how much she loved him and would miss him.

She's remained widowed for over 15 years, choosing to never marry again. She can't imagine finding anyone better, but she's so grateful for the time she did have with him.

She came to understand better than anyone, why so many people had spoken so highly of him and not one soul spoke anything remotely negative... she's yet to meet anyone who has.

It was awesome to hear my mom tell these stories about my father. Even though he passed when I was young, he made a lasting impact on my life and showed me how to be a person who operates with integrity and showed me how to be self-less, yet strong and firm.

And his influence on my life, has translated to many successes my life, including relationships, family and business as well.

"Who Have You Helped?"

Almost everyday, I will see an email in my inbox, or a forum post on the Better Networker Community, or a comment on one of my articles or Web 2.0 profiles, of people thanking us and give us unsolicited testimonials on how we have helped them.

Often with our clients, when we are instructing them on sales letters, one of the components we tell them to include are testimonials. The next question, which comes out of their mouth is usually, "well, where do I get them?"

My response is, "who have you helped?"

The fact of the matter is that if you don't have people lining up, thanking you for what you've done for them or even just know of a couple of people whom would be willing to vouch for you, then you got some work to do...

We've gotten testimonials and praise from top industry leaders like Tim Erway, Mike Dillard, Daegan Smith, Joe LoBalsamo to name a few...

But it's the random emails we get from people we don't know and whom we will probably never meet, which mean the most and warm my heart.

And the results you produce for yourself, will be directly related to the results you produce for others.

And all this will be a direct result of the books you read, your education and the people you meet.

You know better than I do, how valuable the content you receive in this newsletters is. The teaching stands on its own, even if you never buy our AMF course... and that's done purposefully.

Purchasing our Attraction Marketing Formula course will probably be the best investment you'll ever make, because it will give you clear direction towards achieving the results you desire for your business and guide you step-by-step through the process of setting up your own marketing system and generate tons of traffic from Google.

But our goal when we created the AMF Bootcamp Newsletter back in 2007, was to make sure that after you finished reading our emails, that you went away a better person than you came in even if you didn't purchase anything.

Each newsletter stands on its own, as valuable teaching.

I tell my mom that the influence she and my father had on my growing up, is what ultimately helped me become free... living with humility, learning to pass the credit, serving others and busting your ass!

That has been the key to our success. There is no magic trick to marketing.

Marketing is marketing. The same methods Mike Dillard and other mentors of ours taught us, they have taught countless others.

The difference between us and others, was on how we presented ourselves, how much value we provide to our readers and how hard we worked to make sure we served you better, than everyone on the internet who is screaming at you for your money.

Stay true to yourself, serve others and work hard... eventually, the impact that you've made in the lives of others, will lift you to getting the things you want most in this life.

Just ask my mom if this formula really works. ;)

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Ferny Ceballos is a recovering aerospace engineer, computer scientist, internet marketer, martial artist and microbrew enthusiast. Despite holding degrees from MIT & USC in Engineering, Fernando decided to turn his back on engineering and jump into the vast and profitable world of internet network marketing in 2006. To learn more about building your own MLM lead system, go to: http://www.attractionmarketingformula.com