Take a number please!

Ever had one of those days where you felt like a number? If so, did you feel like a million, or was that number closer to zero?

For example: I called up my company to check on my autoship, and waited for 20 minutes listening to audio spam telling me how awesome their service is and what a valuable customer I am.

There are few things in this world better calculated to "put you in your place", than a machine telling you how important and valuable you are. Yes, we all know the reality: there's no way a company with 700 customer service reps is going to be able to play personal receptionist with over 1 million distributors.

And, you just know that some guy with an actuarial table told the marketing guy exactly how many seconds average customers will tolerate being spammed before attempting to strangle themselves with the telephone cord. (Hmm. That must be why they invented cell phones, no cord, no foul.)

Now that you are chuckling, because you've had a day like that. And it really IS a trivial example, but sometimes it take just that "last straw" to get things going in the wrong direction. So, now I'll tell you the point, and it isn't just about venting so I feel better. (But I do, and I don't feel guilty. I'll show you why in a moment.) OK, what real leaders do is to take the negative stuff that happens to them and find a positive way to use it.

Nothing earthshaking there, I know. But several things happen to a person when they are able to take an event and change it's "label" - change what it means to him or her. These are some of the things that happen:

1. Eustress (good motivating stress) is channeled in a direction that make one feel productive and fulfilled.

2. Distress (psychologically and physically damaging stress) is reduced or eliminated, which helps the body purge fight-or-flight hormones, like adrenaline. Sustained levels of these hormones are bad because the heart beats too fast, and the blood supply retreats from the extremeties. For example, in that upper extremity called the brain, the hippocampus acts like a "gatekeeper" to the memory maps in the brain. This area of the brain can actually become temporarily burnt out by high levels of stress, like a breaker box after a lightning strike, which can severely affect the short term memory. Thankfully, the hippocampus can repair itself with reasonable rest and relaxation.

3. People are attracted to the person. Generally, people like to be around positive people. It doesn't even matter what the topic is, or if there is any discussion involved. Body language speaks volumes, and a body that is relaxed or reacting well to eustress is going be more effective at relaxing and motivating others.

4. Positive events are attracted to the leader. It really doesn't matter if one believes in "The Secret" or any other "New Age" stuff. If you take the time to read the bible, study successful leaders, browse the biographies of famous people, collect famous quotes, or even learn the basics of quantum mechanics, you will realize that there's some connection between what a person believes, and what happens to them. And since you are safely reading this with no-one looking over your shoulder, you can nod secretly, because of the dozens of times you thought of calling someone at the precise moment they called you. (Aha! I saw that.)

5. Focus, concentration, confidence, and creativity improve, while the learning curve shortens. Fact is, the less energy you spend on fighting something, the better you flow like water over it, around it, and through it. That translates to more power to conquer, and more brainpower to bear on that and the 50 other problems your subconscious mind is dealing with.

6. Energy levels soar. The human brain uses 25% of the body's total available energy reserves. When a person's mindset and emotions are congruent with his or her goals, less effort is spent trying to achieve integration and balance, which leaves more resources for actual work.

Now that we've covered what happens with a little stress managment, let's return to the situation where sitting on hold made me feel like a number again. Now, that low level distress from feeling like the number zero, built up in increments through the day, affected the way I perceived things, how I thought, what I did, and how I interacted with people. Perhaps not in a big way, but combined with other events it took a toll.

When I finally dealt with it, rather than just going through the formula, I decided to use it as a way to share, teach and lead. I figured that maybe if just one person had a frustrating day, and I could help them to revisit what they already know, or learn an new skill, it would be worth it.

In each step of label reassignment process, any problem becomes ever more trivial compared with one's ability to deal with it. And the value of dealing with it increases exponentially! So now I feel like a million because, rather than a remaining a background irritant, my situation feels more like a seized opportunity!

We have the power to change the meaning of the not-so-trivial events too. After all, if you're going to let a situation make you feel like a number, and you have to power to choose, why not take a million?

Jord Thomas