After possibly the worse weekend ever......
Read More: Discipline | Mindset | Personal Development | Positive Thinking
.........what a weekend. I am left scared, hurt and confused. Here's the story:
My girlfriend and I agreed to stay home with the baby, while she goes out Friday and I go out Saturday. Friday comes and I'm sitting at home doing nothing. Watching TV...ya know...boring stuff. I worked on my e-book a little but the motivation wasn't there so I cut it short. 2am comes around, (the time clubs/bars let out) and my girlfriend calls me and tells me to open the door. Then she tells me that her brother is dropping her off because she was too drunk to drive home. Responsible thing to do yes, but she left the car in probably one of the worse spots to leave a car in the city I live in, downtown! I let her in and was amazed at how intoxicated she really was. I was dissapointed that she drunk so much knowing she would have to drive back home, AND drop her sister off.
I've been (trying) to work on my anger, because I know that whatever energy I send out, more of that energy will be brought to me. But friday night.......for some reason I forgot. I tryed to let it go, I went up to the bed and laid down. She made it to the room (somehow) and collasped on the floor (she was fine, just acting). She asked if I could help her in the bed, and my reply was........"I'll help you, if you help me once your in it" Yes, exactly what your thinking. BUT, that is not what happened obviously! She didn't even hear what I said! She actually got mad and stormed out of the room! Already upset with her, I fed into her negative energy and got more upset. BOY WAS THAT A BIG MISTAKE!
I told her that I was going to help her she just didn't hear me. BUT.....for some reason she STILL had an attitude. I should already know better, I know how she gets when she drinks. It's either good or bad. So.........we did our usual. Argue, Argue, Argue. You would think with all this information about the power of the mind, I would know I'm on the verge of sabotaging myself. So, after we tussled around......my Dell Inspiron 17" laptop screen was destroyed by impact, and we were at a familiar dilemna about our up and down relationship.
Saturday: We woke up, talked about our mistakes and tryed to rekindle the bond that we have. That all went good, but we were stuck at the house with no car. I was mad FRIDAY because I KNEW no one would call her the next day and help her get to the car. She doesn't have many people to depend on. Well, actually....just me and my side of the world. So long story short, I had to hop on the bus, ride it to the bus station, and walk to the car. The things I do to bandage her poor judgement.
So I'm driving the car, I pick her and the baby up and drop them off and I set out to do what I wanted to do. I met a few friends at the bar and we had a blast! 2am comes.....I get inside the car to take off....AND I have a flat! I went to put air in it and discovered a hole in the tire that couldnt be fixed. So what do I do? I can't really call anyone since it's 2am. So I had to drive home on a flat....I'm sure most of you know what the tire ended up looking like when I made it.
Sunday: So here I am knowing that possibly the worst weekend ever is almost over and I am confused. VERY CONFUSED! Where do I go from here? How do I act inside my relationship? How do I continue my postitive thinking and attraction of my desires? I have so many dreams that I WILL fulfill and I know that doing what I just did this weekend pushed them FAAAR away from me.
Monday comes: I know that I have to be the best ME that I can be! I cannot live for anyone else! I am the ruler of the world and I cannot continue to be sucked into someone elses that's not benifiting mines. This leaves me sort of giving a cold shoulder to my girlfriend the next time an issue arises, but hey, who cares. In order for my desires of progression to transform into physical or material conditions......I have to be in constant meditation of them. Being negative and feeling thoughts of negativity, pain and confusion pushes them farther and farther away from me. I worked on my e-book some more and I really was able to dish out a TON of knowledge. I feel alright today and I plan to feel better each day. My desires to be financially free, to not lack of the things I want will become reality. I have to focus and think about the things I want, and RUN away from the things I don't. So.............I'm running and thinking at the same time. I never want to feel the hurt, pain and confusion that I felt last weeked. I'm going to finish my e-book and make at least $6,000 from it, or other things related. (by the way, my e-book is about the Power within us in our mind, and how to use specific tactics in business to make money online with knowledge, i.e. Copywriting, leveraging from other people, and the RIGHT words to use to trigger BUYING EMOTIONS)
What a weekend.
MY BELIEF. MY FUTURE.