After the loss of a Son
Read More: I lost my son September 26th 2008 to suicide. He was 24 years old and had a very rare Blood disorder that caused him a great deal of pain, (severe unbarable pain) He was on Pain meds and he became ammune to them, they stopped working for him. They also messed up his thinking. I know he felt hopeless at the end and felt there was no way out of his peril. I know my son was not in his right mind or he would never have done this to himself and our family. He was very popular with his peers and he was the one they came to for advise or help in thier personal life problems. He recently lost his battle of primary physical custody of his 4 year old daughter whom he cherished and loved deeply. Because of his Blood disorder, it was hard for him to stay employed, even so he tried so hard even with the Pain he had to endure. Life without him will never be the same for any of the people he touched and helped along the way. Its been 21 days since he left us. Its been difficult dealing with all of the guilt, the I should of.... the why's ..... I could of .... I didn't see it coming. I have been more negative since this happened, but I am not usually a negative person. I am trying real hard to pick up my moral and continue on with my life and business like I used to knowing that would be what my son would want for me to do. I know I will have days that I will fall but I will pick myself up right away and continue on and not beat myself up with my loss. I loved him so much and I will miss hearing his voice and seeing him, but I also know he is out of pain and in the safest place he could be, because he is in God's memory. I know I will be with him again John 5:28.29. I love you son and until that day comes you will be in my memory .
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Kings.wayonly Distraught mom Merry King
Views: 164 | 
Comments: 5 
About the Author: Merry King
Member Since: 09/14/2008
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Sorry for your Loss
I will say a pray for you, your son and your family. Always remember that when God blesses us with children, we never question his plan. And when he decides to take them home we must remain strong and remember His plan os perfect. Although you and your family are in pain your son no longer has to feel the pain he had to endure. Hang in there Merry.
Timothy C Burns
847-912-2354 anytime
Thank You Tim
I appreciate your heartfelt concern. This hit my family real hard, we always knew we would probably lose him at a young age, but due to his Blood disorder not his own hand. The last week he was trying to get his affairs in order, I just thought he was trying to organize his life and get ready for his new relationship with his girlfriend. I did not see it as tying up any loose ends. I really hope other individuals that might be going through problems with there children due to health , drugs or Alcohol look closely at what there actions are dictating. If they suddenly change there pattern of activity or start withdrawing from the family in conversation, staying isolated from family not necessarily from there friends. He would lock himself in his bedroom. He stopped eating regularly, he became very pale and weak. I can look back and see all kinds of signs now, I wished I could of before it happened.
Thank you again I'm blessed with the love of my friends and family for support. Its funny but somehow positive things come about out of a tragedy.
Thanks again
Merry King
I am very sorry for your loss
Dear Mary
I am very sorry for your loss. I know it is painful but he is in a better place and not in pain anymore. I lost my best friend this summer. She was buried on July 28 2008.
SHe was murdered and made it look like it was suicide. We have been friends for over 25 years so for me it was very painful and I completely understand what you are going through. I know God has a plan for each of us and sometimes we do ask question why it is happening to me. I recently stopped asking questions why certain things happen in my life and started focusing how I can help someone else in the same situation.
Again if I can be of any help please contact me.
Tatyana
Thank You Tatyana
Thank You for your sympathy. I'm sorry you lost your friend that way, did they find her killer? My son knew there was no cure or getting away from his horrific pain he was in. He tried to get off of the pain meds anyway, but it was stronger than him, he hated the way they made him feel. His doctor put him on the pain meds we feel to strong of dosage. He was in pain for over 10 years, but was never addicted to his meds until the last doctor he had put him on it 4 1/2 months ago. That is when he became addicted and started going down hill. Of course its to late now for my son. I am going to do some research and publicize the harm these drugs do to some individuals. Not only are they very addicting but they cloud the mind with radical thinking. I know my son would have never committed suicide if he was in his right mind. Even with the pain of his blood disorder He loved his daughter and family more than that.Many of his friends are very distraught over this and are having a tough time getting over it.
Thank You very much
Please Accept My Sympathy
Hi Tim,
It is sad that we are being induced to this, by the Drug Company. Do not get me wrong Tim we still need drugs but for me it would be my last choice.We consumer should take charge of our health. We should educate ourselves and learn the effect of drugs to our health. My health was in a mess before everytime I am put into drug by my Doctor it causes me more pain than good. So I did my research and I couldn't be better since then. I regain my health without drugs.
But looking back at your son, maybe the good side will come along.You now have a chance to do your deligent and take charge of your health. Doctors are not always right.
Hope for your best Tim.
Violeta Esplana