Just Another Day in Vegas

  Written by Glenn Robertson on Apr 12, 2009 4:55 pm

Read More: Mindset  |  Personal Development

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Hey Everyone!

Welcome to Your World and My World!

I want to talk about it all and I want your feedback!

I live and work in Fabulous Las Vegas! When you live here, you find out everything...this is such a small town! More about that in later posts.

Here's what went on yesterday:

http://www.theglobaltribune.com/index.php?code=590rpH9uy2IL9u5B5v82

And here's what went on here last week:

"And now for the news:

“AP Wire—Las Vegas—BREAKING NEWS FLASH!

Amid barking dogs, wailing sirens and curious neighbors, a suspicious package was delivered today to the home of Las Vegas resident, Glenn Robertson.

Postal inspectors, accompanied by their bomb-sniffing dogs, hand-delivered the package and demanded opening of same.

The Las Vegas Police Department and Department of Homeland Security were also called in to deal with the situation.

Though the return address indicated the package may have been sent by a Mr. & Mrs. Glenn F. Robertson of Palm Bay, Florida, extreme caution was demanded by the Chief of Las Vegas Homeland Security, Horace Roundbottom, an aging, off-hours standup comic from the now defunct Stardust Hotel, who is a scruffy looking man who’s face does indeed resemble the bulldog who stood by his side at attention.

An embarrassed and visibly shaken Mr. Robertson opened the package guardedly.

As the plain-brown wrapper was carefully cut away, a hushed silence filled the large Foyer in the once upscale, but now decaying and foreclosure ravaged, neighborhood of Rancho Bel Air.

As the box slid from the wrapping and was fumbled by Mr. Robertson . . . it hit the floor.

Las Vegas PD reached for their weapons and a loud GASP was exhaled by all in attendance!

‘My God,’ Mr. Robertson exclaimed . . . ‘it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s Fried Green Tomatoes! It’s The Whistle Stop Café Batter Mix for Fried Green Tomatoes!

‘Fried Green what?’ The department chief of Homeland Security growled.

‘I’ve never heard of it. It must be some sort of commie-plot. It’s got to be terrorism! My dog Buster does not make mistakes!’

‘THEY MUST BE IRANIANS!’ a female Las Vegas PD officer cried out!’ looking as though she was about to burst from her uniform which was a ridiculous two sizes too small.

‘Relax’, said Mr. Robertson. ‘It’s obvious that none of ya’ll are from the South. You’ve never heard of Fried Green Tomatoes? The Movie? The Book? Fannie Flagg? It’s Southern tradition! Ya’ll need to get out more!’”

After a careful examination of the down-home, brightly-colored box, among the shrugs and disappointed murmurs, Las Vegas PD, Homeland Security and the Postal Force filed out of the residence and squeezed themselves back into their respective cruisers.

Neighbors walked away shaking their heads, with murmurs of, ‘I told you so. I told you they were weird!’

One neighbor who lingered behind, staring as she crossed the street, appeared to be the reincarnation of Gladys Cravitz from the old “Bewitched” television series.

‘I’ve often wondered if her husband’s name is Abner,’ a bemused Mr. Robertson issued quietly under his breath.

As he stood in silence, I noted the rolling of his eyes, as he watched Buster relieving himself on the freshly-mowed lawn, just before he hopped into the department’s cruiser.

In this reporter’s opinion, after staying behind and enjoying the best damn tomatoes I’ve ever eaten, we have only one thing to report: ‘Southern Hospitality is alive and well! Thank You Mrs. Robertson!’”

And that’s the way it was . . . here in Fabulous Las Vegas, on Friday, March 6, 2009! (THEY MUST BE IRANIANS! Don’t ya just love it . . . ?!) LOL!!!

Rhetorical question only: Do you think it’s arrogant to be amused by one’s own work and actually laugh out loud after rereading it . . . ?

And if ya need another giggle:

http://www.freeaudioclips.com/music1/Comedy_Clips/beanmnth.wav

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