Healthy Marriage Secrets - The Value of Persistence

Written by Robert Van Es on Apr 22, 2009 6:05 pm

Read More: Discipline | Personal Development

You're having difficulty in your marriage and you don't know what to do about it. You have searched for solutions. You have read every article and book that has anything to do with your problem, but nothing seems to work. You have tried every tip that you have found in those books and articles and still things don't get any better.

Your self confidence and self esteem are slipping away from you. You're beginning to feel like you're the cause of it all. You can't do anything right. Things will never get any better. They will only get worse. You're at your wit's end and don't know what else you can do.

Sound familiar?

It does to me. I've been there - more than once. Nothing can be as destructive and devastating as that feeling that everything you have is slipping away from you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The awful feeling of helplessness is absolutely overwhelming.

Do you want to know the secret that helped me to overcome almost every time? It is found in the statement, taken from above: "You have tried every tip...".

See, trying does not work! Trying something means going into it without believing that it will do any good. The problem with that mindset is that there is no power behind it, so when the problem is not solved during the first week, we give up!

Persistence has become a lost art! One that needs to be resurrected if we expect to see results in something as complicated as a marriage problem.

Any problem that occurs in a marriage does not happen overnight. It is usually the sum total of many small aggravations that were never vocalized or faced. Therefore, they are not going to disappear overnight. They are going to require a determined effort and an ongoing, persistent plan of action.

This is not an easy job. We have become so accustomed to instant gratification that we have lost the ability to persevere and see anything through to it's conclusion.

You may have heard the old adage, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", or heard the question, "How do you eat an elephant?". The answer, of course is, "One bite at a time". It is the same way with marriage troubles. We fix them by taking it one step at a time, day after day, again and again until the problem is gone.

There is no magic elixir. There is no secret to an instant solution. What took time to grow will take time to die. Through persistence you can accomplish what you set out to do.

Is your marriage worth the time that it will take to demolish the problem that threatens to destroy it? I can't decide that for you, but I believe that if you are troubled about a problem in your marriage, then you want a solution to that problem. My guess is that the solution doesn't include calling it quits.

To Your Success!