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[monica odenwald Contribution Level: 3]

Hi valued members of BN. I was at my Toastmaster's meeting last night (Thank You Charles Hubner for your list of 6)and as I stood there NOT making enough eye contact, I couldn't help but wonder if all this time on the computer is detracting from my communication skills with real people. ( something I need much more practice at!)

I have found that making Youtube videos is great for preparing speeches and polishing YOUR three V's: Verbal, Voice and Vocals.

Well, I just am wondering if people on BN spend more time communicating with real people or if my future consists of communicating on a phone and computer all day.

Any stories to share?

Monica

Interesting question Monica, Jay Kubassek actually had an article on this topic in July's Wealth Masters Newsletter were he brought up the idea of whether the internet is making us more intelligent or less intelligent, more vulnerable to distraction or more capable of skillful multi-tasking.

The internet is a wonderful tool and as more business continue to come online worldwide looks like communicating on the phone and computer is what the future holds. I guess we'll all avatars socializing in a virtual world. Last I checked 2nd life.com is becoming more and more popular, taking time to unplug and enjoy the family always works for me.

[Deborah Young Contribution Level: 2]

Yep, real people are scary alright. I find making videos to be very helpful as well, Monica - and that's a good thing because I believe there will always be opportunities for face-to-face interaction. Industry experts are certainly called upon to speak, so if you're building brand YOU it's only a matter of time before you get to use those skills you're mastering with ToastMasters! And don't forget about participating in your company's conferences. Those situations definitely require good one-on-one skills. Finally, I love working the computer and phones but sometimes ya just gotta talk to a real live human face to face. I think you're on the right track, Monica.

[Neil Johnson Contribution Level: 2]

I love this post. Deborah and Kevin, you both have great advice as well..

A great book that really touches on this, and it has helped me so much in my communications with people all around the spectrum. Internet, in person, or on the phone... and the book is called..

The Sales Bible By Jeffrey Gittomer... and anyways.. it's a great book about speech, and persuasion... and when I say persuasion I don't mean the negative connotation of the word. I mean, learning how to make friends with people, in a very short amount of time... and the best way to reach someone is to make friends with them, and gain some rapport early on in the conversation.

For instance...
If you are meeting them for the first time, you are going to want to define the reason you are talking to them right at the beginning. So it doesn't feel like your just making small talk. Making small talk can be a nerve racking experience under pressure. So once you have clearly defined your purpous for interaction, then you and the prospect can breath a lot easier.

Next, you will be able to start building some rapport, and finding out who they are... and OBSERVING what their interests may be... but don't be to pushy... just treat it like a conversation.. nice and easy... but always OBSERVE who they are. Because most of the time they are smarter then you know.

Identify and collect information on what they do, the needs, the problems, their WISDOM, EXPERIENCE, and overall knowledge.

Based on that information, then you can begin to solve the problem, fulfill the need, or even convey something that may be outside their scope.

The important thing is to build trust, and make a friend... and never forget to be relaxed, and easy going.. don't be afraid to joke around a little bit. Just don't make any bad jokes.. and don't talk about religion, and politics. hahaha

A lot of this you already know.. but this is just a little bit of great stuff I have learned in Jeffrey Gittomers The Sales Bible

and another great book I have read 8 times and still haven't learned everything in it.. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" By Dale Carnegie

I hope this helps.. sorry if i come off as a know it all.. I am just excited about this stuff.. haha..

[monica odenwald Contribution Level: 3]

Hi and thanks Kevin for your message:"The internet is a wonderful tool and as more business continue to come online worldwide looks like communicating on the phone and computer is what the future holds. I guess we'll all avatars socializing in a virtual world."

I can't imagine NOT having a phone and computer. How did entrepreneurs ever manage to prosper without them? But God first (or whatever your word of the day is for this great higher power), family next and then business.

Dean"s reply: Real people are so scary - it is much easier to talk to people on the other side of a screen or phone

Dean: My list was short and sweet when I started this year because I am new to this town. The burning question of how to find leads in the cold market didn't impress my upline. Being left to my own devices I searched on line for more education. I came from 12 years in a remote fishing village. Is city life the best for recruiting?

There are skills to use referral marketing that I have learned from Bob Burg's CD, How To Cultivate A Network Of Endless Referrals. "How to work a room at a Chamber of Commerce card exchange." I really think referral marketing works building that list of 250!

Neil you touched on some of these when you explained "networking" in new social environments, leaving yourself and needs out of the initial contact while building trust.

But ironically this takes genuine practice (getting into the community) commitment and time. I had to start just upping my communication skills with toastmasters. I am joining soccar this week so maybe the ladies on the field will ask me more about my home-business.

So thanks Deborah, I will remember to participate in my Company's meetings as well as keep working on videos. Your support was great!

Bottom line for all of us networkers is that we like people or we wouldn't be in this business. Virtual reality always involves real people and fortunately today, modern technology, as well.

Thanks for your awesome feedback!
Monica

[Neil Johnson Contribution Level: 2]

Neil you touched on some of these when you explained "networking" in new social environments, leaving yourself and needs out of the initial contact while building trust.

But ironically this takes genuine practice (getting into the community) commitment and time. I had to start just upping my communication skills with toastmasters. I am joining soccar this week so maybe the ladies on the field will ask me more about my home-business.
Monica

Haha, yea I think I am a different Neil... but I am glad you already know this stuff.. it is so valuable.. I am just learning and getting the hang of it... Once I realized how I talk in real time to people that I know and love.. then I began to apply it to any sort of real time situation... and these skills have totally enhanced all of my relationships... with family, friends, etc..

Learning how to convey that I am a good person has done wonders for my confidence... and it was a real breakthrough for me. So yea.. I don't mean to keep saying this over and over but...

Please read Gitomers book! haha.. I can't even stress how much of a asset it has been learning this basic stuff... it's all just second nature now.. and dealing with people is cake... it makes the confrontation of selling so much easier.. but not just his books.. there is all kinds of information out there on sales, and persuasion, speech, etc...

It's all about building a foundation of knowledge... and that is the secret to any objective.

by the way I still love your post.. I get excited when ever I chat about this stuff.. lol! is that nerdy?

[Lynda Cromar Company: MyLeadSystemPRO Contribution Level: 7]

yes if we only concentrate on doing things behind the computer then we are missing one of the most important components, connecting with people and that is key to success.

Whether we go out and meet people in live circumstances or we connect on the phone we must connect. No person joins us just because we have a great capture page.

Also I have used video and have had people join me because of that video and they connected with me, I don't however think it can totally replace a real connection.

congratulations on joining toastmasters because you recognized the need to hone your communication skills!

[Tadas Luksys Contribution Level: 1]

It is important for people as a human. If we will not talk with
people eye to eye for the long time, it is not good and you can get
some psichology problems communicating with them - yes you may earn
many money, but for our spirit we need not money but others people
spirit!

People may becoming just money counter, selfish and smug if he become
highly successful man!

Tadas

[Marilyn Fisher Company: Scent-Sations, Inc. Contribution Level: 1]

I believe that it takes a little of both the walking and talking skills to maintain the interpersonal skills that we as humans need to have a balanced life. The computer has become an avenue to reach out to people outside my local community. Communication skills are learned early in life we just need to learn how to finetune them to include all avenues. ~~Magical Marilyn~~

[Geri Bridges Contribution Level: 2]

Thanks for a great question and all the thoughtful replies and comments! I know my friends with teenagers have all expressed concerns that the kids don't seem to talk or interact face to face. Just recently I was with my niece & her friend. Throughout the day they were texting each other, even when being arms length away.

Recently heard in an interview on networking: "Touch Trumps Technology" every time!

Geri Bridges