(actually I have been in mlm for 4 years with no success)
If you've been in for 4 years (in ANY business) you are NOT a newbie!
Let me explain...
If you've been going to meetings, if you've been reading and paying attention to trends in the industry, if you know about concepts like Personal Branding and the "Funded Proposal"... guess what? YOU ARE NOT A NEWBIE!
You DO have knowledge that your prospects do NOT have... so in their eyes - YOU ARE THE EXPERT!
Justin's right - definitely leverage your upline's success (or other people's success in your company), but don't RELY on your upline to make you a leader. YOU are the only one that can do that.
And the best start to becoming a leader is, first, stop calling yourself a newbie.
I don't mean to sound harsh (if I am, my apologies)... but I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING! .. so I know where you're coming from.
The moment I said that it was MY business, and I started taking the role of the leader THROUGH MY ACTIONS, then I started getting results.
Hope that helps!