I'm glad you gave us the link to your article. I'm also proud that you're opening yourself for some honest feedback. This is an awesome community, and I'm sure nobody will think you're spamming when you're looking for sincere feedback.
That being said, I really enjoyed your article. Nice flow, perfect length, good keyword use, overall, very good.
But like I said before, I believe you missed your hook. The only link your provided throughout the article was to one of your squidoos, which would've been great, if it offered a little more guidance. In your squidoo, you have great information (again, very well-written), but it was all a little mixed up. As a reader, I was interested in what you had to say in that specific article, and I wanted to find out more about the author. The squidoo gave a lot of extra information, and dispersed my focus.
Another thing was: I could not find your capture page anywhere. Not even in the squidoo.
Your copy has to lead the reader somewhere. Remember to include a call of action, a next step, an order of attention, to all your communications. For example, I would like to receive more information on the subject, and I'd've signed up for a newsletter, or something, just because I liked your writing. However, I could not find it.
Michelle, to sum it all up: don't take my word for it. This is just an opinion, take it like so and do your own research. Split test, make a new squidoo, whatever. Just don't take any third party review too seriously.
By the way, if you're looking for an easy way to make capture pages: http://www.weebly.com
is free & easy.
To writing million dollar letters,