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[Samantha Cook Company: Wealth Masters International Contribution Level: 2]

I have been a member of BetterNetworker and other work from home forums for almost a year now. There is something that has always bothered me and it was the constant reminder that you will have to change your friends if you want to succeed.
There are many articles about who you associate yourself with is going to be who you are. Studies have shown that the people who associate themselves with people who make $30k/ year will make $30k/ year.
This is a recurring theme that has bothered me from day one. I have always been the friend that is supportive, listening and helpful. In fact, it was one of the main causes of leaving my 80-hour a week job because I did not have time for my friends/family or myself.
I felt I was going to be betraying them, essentially “firing them” from being my friend because they do not have the same aspirations as I do. Then today, it hit me! Since when have I let anyone tell me whom I can or cannot associate myself?
I had a paradigm shift and realized that I was taking this information the wrong way. Just because there are studies that state I need to associate myself with millionaires if I was to become a millionaire. It does not mean that I need to cut off ties from my friends who are not millionaires; I merely need to add to my friends through association of those with the same aspirations.
I did not need to only associate myself with only HR Directors to become an HR Director; I did it through my own power of self and determination to follow that dream.

This maybe a small change in thought process, but for me it was a major release on a mental hold back for my pursuit of happiness.

On another note, I am a good friend and thus if I have a friend (or family) who is not supporting my cause…I distance myself from negativity. Something I have done all of my life anyway.

[Gary A. Mitchell Contribution Level: 2]

Hi Samantha;

Sounds like you answered your own question, if you had one. I can relate to what you're saying. It's not that you have to divorce your old friends, but I think this idea can be summed up with this old saying;

"You judge a person by the friends they keep!"

Simply put, were going to emulate those who we share the most time with. It's been true for me. In the past I found that I had to stop hanging around a few people because of negativity or the fact that they were very closed minded about most things even though they were colorful and fun to hang with.

Their thinking began to rub off on me and I didn't want to continue moving in that direction, so I made some adjustments without them. It's been a good move.

Gary

[Landon Stewart Company: ViSalus Sciences Contribution Level: 3]

Mind, Thoughts, and Ideas are contagious.

It is really that simple. I mean whoever you spend the most time with, is who you are going to become.

When i first got started in this I had to kind of push some of my good friends aside because of what they believed, and their outlook at life.

At the time it was a little depressing losing those friends, but at the same time why would I want to be friends with people that had no desire to go anywhere in life.

I felt that it was almost selfish of them.

A lot of people could disagree with what I am about to say next.

I think that people that don't want to rich are selfish people.

You're probably like o my god landon, I can't believe you just said that, I mean those people are trying to let everyone else have the money.

Well here's my reasoning for that statement.

If you only have enough money to support YOUR own needs, then it is impossible for you to help others.

You can't help other people out if you are broke. You will just make other people just as broke as you are.

And if you let other people have all of the money, you can guarentee that they won't use it as well as you would have.

I mean I want to be able to get money, and give back, and you just can't do that if you are broke.

[Billy Alley Contribution Level: 2]

The naysayers still scoff at me in my pursuit for independence.

It's just the lemming way of keeping you in their complacent
reality. If you stick around, you will be assimilated!

I'm glad that you are pushing through to achieve your goals. I'm
still building my marketing systems, and learning. It is a process
that can take years for some.

It's all about learning and growing.

I've learned that the more I keep focusing on learning, and I keep
on applying it, I have these "aha" moments.

It's been like gold. In this industry, you become a new person.
In order to morph into this person, I believe you need to constantly
be educating yourself.

As you become more educated, pieces and chunks of the old you
come off. With each "aha" moment, you become more aware.

[Ken Seavert Contribution Level: 2]

I have been a member of BetterNetworker and other work from home forums for almost a year now. There is something that has always bothered me and it was the constant reminder that you will have to change your friends if you want to succeed.
There are many articles about who you associate yourself with is going to be who you are. Studies have shown that the people who associate themselves with people who make $30k/ year will make $30k/ year.
This is a recurring theme that has bothered me from day one. I have always been the friend that is supportive, listening and helpful. In fact, it was one of the main causes of leaving my 80-hour a week job because I did not have time for my friends/family or myself.
I felt I was going to be betraying them, essentially “firing them” from being my friend because they do not have the same aspirations as I do. Then today, it hit me! Since when have I let anyone tell me whom I can or cannot associate myself?
I had a paradigm shift and realized that I was taking this information the wrong way. Just because there are studies that state I need to associate myself with millionaires if I was to become a millionaire. It does not mean that I need to cut off ties from my friends who are not millionaires; I merely need to add to my friends through association of those with the same aspirations.
I did not need to only associate myself with only HR Directors to become an HR Director; I did it through my own power of self and determination to follow that dream.

This maybe a small change in thought process, but for me it was a major release on a mental hold back for my pursuit of happiness.

On another note, I am a good friend and thus if I have a friend (or family) who is not supporting my cause…I distance myself from negativity. Something I have done all of my life anyway.

At some point regardless of how good your relationships with these people are you have to decide the your life is exactly that.

YOURS.

I have found over time that the one reason i was friends with broke people is part of me liked it!

They are great people but what kept me there was fear and insecurity not some "powerful relationship"
in fact in many cases the relationship was more about keeping the status quo than it was improving your life.

I have more friends now than ever the only difference is most are more uplifting, positive , and loving.

Also sometimes we just have to set the example and raise the whole group up to another level, if you do some will follow, some will not. That's their choice.

[Samantha Cook Company: Wealth Masters International Contribution Level: 2]

Thank you all for your posts and replies. I agree that it is something in your mindset that you have to let go and believe that you are better than what they may be able to give. I think being a woman makes it harder to let go of connections and realize that this has nothing to do with the person; but with me and the fact that I am changing within this journey.

Again, thank you all for taking the time to write in.
Sam

[Chris Tryon Contribution Level: 4]

Excellent post, Samantha. The same can be said of sharing similar core values with people. I had to change my friends a long time ago. I got out of the "victim mode" and decided that I needed to be around people that adhered to higher standards. I have a tremendous family now because of those decisions. I had to decide that I deserved better.

We need to remember that we, as network marketers are in the helping business. It doesn't matter if our primary source of full-time income right now is ditch-digger or doctor. With our network marketing connections, most of us have access to products that are not available in your local mall or discount store. In most cases these products are by far, superior to than anything on the mainstream market. We also have opportunities to generate Million-dollar incomes. All of us are involved in Million-dollar businesses. We need to convince ourselves of this fact.

You are right. We need to remember that it IS about associating ourselves with those individuals that are successful in network marketing. It is not about us achieving our goals. It IS about US helping other people to achieve theirs. We can not do it alone. We need our up-line to provide credibility because their success will ultimately become our success. We need each other in order to succeed.

[May Vale Contribution Level: 1]

This is my dillema now.

Thanks for your post. I have now a paradigm shift too.

I can't let go of my friends and family because they have been there when I am "nothing". But I can't let go too of the people who keeps telling me that i am 'someting."

[Dave Kotecki Company: Life Force International Contribution Level: 5]

Think about that stupid statistic that you make as much money as your five closest friends, or whatever it is.

People hang out with people who are like them.
They do the things their friends do, because that's what they themselves like to do.
They hang out with people they know.

THEY MEET THEM AT WORK!

Therefore, they're making about the same amount of money.
DUH!

If you become like the people you hang out with, you are the weaker of the two.
You become more like them because you feel like they are in a better position than you are in some way.

HELLO!

If you understand attraction marketing at all than you know that people are looking up to the people that they see are better than themselves in some way. In this case, it's mostly that they have a business and make more money.

You will not leave your friends if you become successful.
They will leave you.

They will leave because you are now showing them what's possible. You are like them. If you can do it, why can't they?

When they realize, even on a subconscious level, that the only reason is because they won't get off their dead butt and do something about their miserable lives, they will stop associating with you because it is too painful for them to acknowledge that truth.

Yes, this was a bit of a rant.

But for crying out loud, friends!

Quit with all the stupid quotes and statistics, take some action, make some money and meet each new day with the knowledge that you are creating your life!

Become the example.

That's the essence of attraction marketing in a nutshell.

Thank-you. (stepping down off soapbox)

[Tami Ross Contribution Level: 2]

Great post Samantha!

A mother's perspective... so my 3 year old acts up in a restaurant. It's your only night out in months... a romantic dinner even... ruined by a 3 year old... OMG! How could those parents let that 3 year old run around the restaurant like that? Here's why. We're used to our 3 year old acting like... guess what... a three year old.

Incredible I know... embarrassed no... ok well maybe my husband.

But the point is we are surrounded by activity that has become normal to us until we see something different. Have you ever heard the story about crabs? I grew up on the east coast of Canada so I feel OK sharing. If you put one crab in a frying pan... it will find a way to craw out. If you put two crabs in a frying pan they will pull each other in until they both die... delicious by the way.

Friends, like kids, are amazingly resilient creatures... follow your dreams and reach for goodness. The real ones will be there supporting you the whole way!

If that doesn't work... try a time out!

Good luck
Tami