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[Pat Olds Contribution Level: 1]

Thanks again Mike, Steve and freemoney for your advice and input. This is amazing what took me about 6 hours to do the first building my landing page I re-did in about 15 minutes. I know it's not high class but I hope it's effective. Again any suggestions from anyone will be greatly appreciate.

http://www.mlmnightmare.com/mlmchllp.html

Pat

[Richard Tolar Contribution Level: 1]

An idea Pat. Give your page a title. The name that goes in the bar at the very top of a site. That's the 1st thing that caught my eye. In the HTML part of your page that would be this. <title>Untitled Page</title>

Also, you may want to change the image to text. It may load a bit quicker. It's pretty fast now but quicker is better. Also, some Interneters surf with "Images" turned off so a lot of your page wouldn't show. Or, at the very least, add some "Alternate Text" to the image.

It's a very interesting disclaimer at the bottom. I'll have to study that for a bit. It's always a good idea to proof your site a couple of time to pick out some hidden errors that visitors my wrinkle their noses at. After all, you are telling them that you are the expert. First impressions are very critical on the Internet. :unsure:

A NOTE: I don't want to seem to picky but I did spot a couple of errors. B)

It is a very intriguing site you have but again, 1st impressions do count.

The best of luck with your marketing.
RT...

[Steve Young Contribution Level: 2]

Hey Pat,
Good tweaks so far. Here are a few others I would make:

1) Change the headline color to red and the "mlm is dead" to blue.

2) Add quotes around your headline

3) Change the exclamation point at the end of the headline to a question mark

4) I agree with RT - put a title on the page (Perhaps something like "What your upline leaders aren't telling you" or something like that)

5) Decrease the font size of the "mlm is dead" line

6) Decrease the font on "learn why" and make the text black

7) Tweak "Grab this..." to read:

Grab this Controversial Report that Exposes the Myth About MLM and Discover...

• Bullet Point 1
  
• Bullet Point 2
  
• Bullet Point 3... etc

You want to provide the benefits of reading your report otherwise no-one will :)

8) Agree with Freemoney - I think you'd want to put people into your autoresponder because that's the only way you're going to be able to develop a long-term relationship with them and continue to provide them value. If for whatever reason they don't like your report, that's it! They're gone - but if you put them into your AR then you've got a few more chances to earn their trust. Might just want to consider that...

Hopefully these help out.

Again, good work on getting it done and tweaking everything!
Steve

[Jim Yaghi Contribution Level: 4]

what do you need their email address for if you won't be putting them into your autoresponder?

If you don't need it, you're just creating a new hoop to jump through that you could avoid and make it easier for your prospect to end up in your marketing. I dont like the disclaimer because you're telling me what you're NOT going to do.

Most people will not worry that they'll end up in an autoresponder but you immediately raise that objection when you suggest to them ideas they may never have had. I know you're telling them they wont do it. It's like you ask a friend to hang onto your things for a few mins and he says to you, "Don't worry, I won't look through your things and look inside your wallet for money to steal." You're gonna get pretty darn suspicious right? I know I'll certainly have second thoughts about leaving my things with my friend.

My point is, if you're going to create a disclaimer try to use positive wording. Say what you WILL do instead of what you WON'T do.

jim

[Pat Olds Contribution Level: 1]

Makes sense DUH! Thank you for the advice. I'm making the changes right now. Thank you all by the way. You guys are so helpful.

Pat

[Tyreek Baskerville Contribution Level: 1]

I like it. It grabs the attention of the reader. And I seen your original, its great that you can come and get good advice on how to tweak your page.