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[Sandra Wilkes Contribution Level: 1]

I don't want to put it out here if it's inappropriate for this site but I would love a critique. I'm new to all this and have actually contructed this site. I have submitted it to search engines but I'm thinking I need to revamp the page. If you are willing, reply here and I'll put my link in next post. Thanks.

[susan coils Contribution Level: 4]

Putting your site up for critique is a great idea. Most everyone here has done it so no reason to be shy.

The only part of your post that concerns me is you mention whether it might be 'appropriate'. Are you referring to it being appropriate to put up your site for critique, or you are referring to whether the content of your site is appropriate?

[Sandra Wilkes Contribution Level: 1]

My site is totally appropriate! Good question, though. I just wanted to make sure it didn't look like advertising myself which is not what this site is about. Anyway, now that I have the go ahead, my site is www.myretailshoppinggenie.com. I made it through GoDaddy. Every step was a learning experience, whew! I can tweak or just start over if necessary! I want something that will be effective. Thanks for any input.

[Igor Kheifets Contribution Level: 4]

My site is totally appropriate! Good question, though. I just wanted to make sure it didn't look like advertising myself which is not what this site is about. Anyway, now that I have the go ahead, my site is http://www.myretailshoppinggenie.com. I made it through GoDaddy. Every step was a learning experience, whew! I can tweak or just start over if necessary! I want something that will be effective. Thanks for any input.

I think you should make it look more proffesional...

It looks kind of amature for my taste..

[susan coils Contribution Level: 4]

Hi
It's a bit all over the place at the moment, but lots of good information on there.

Too many things to go through all at once and hard to imagine how it would look with all different changes so I recommend just changing a few things at a time, till you get it where you want it to be.

I would put your banner at the top instead of in the middle, to begin with.

then do away with the different colours. Too many makes it harder to focus on what is important.

Take away a lot of the content - it's too much and people won't read all of it. I would have the banner, the text that you have at the moment above that banner, and then if they are interested, get their contact details to see if they are suitable

Well done on getting the site together. I remember my first site taking weeks and looking like hell when it was finished! But it did the job, got me quite a few leads as I remember!

[Josh Howard Contribution Level: 2]

I recommend you create your own html file with NVU and then host it at Godaddy.com

It looks like you used a Godaddy template. You can download NVU at http://nvudev.com for free

It's a great html editor and you use it just like a word processor so it's easy to use. I use it for all my sites. Here is an example of one I created: http://HomeBizTeacher.com/?=bnf

Hope this helps.

All the best,

Josh The "HomeBizTeacher"
1-866-858-4535

[Sandra Wilkes Contribution Level: 1]

Thanks so much to all of you!!! I especially appreciate the concrete suggestions that I can do right away. I have a long way to go but that's just part of it. Can't wait to check out the nvudev site. Again, thanks for your comments. Hope to repay the favor somday.

[Jeff Mitchell Contribution Level: 4]

First off...I would Get away from the Jonathan Budd capture page and do your own...I could have that page to...as well as 150 other GRN people...but the page is good...needless to say... There is only one problem with the duplication of that system which i am a part of also...(or was a part of)....JB pushes the PPC too much so you page, or the same exact page is being used by so many people....

have some more originality and you will be gold...

Even though the GRN and RFS are getting played out things are still going to be good...for real..


-JM

[Sandra Wilkes Contribution Level: 1]

Thanks again....back to the drawing board. Lots of changes to make. Jeff, (JM) I don't understand your post though. Just trying to learn here so help me out re Jonathan Budd??? I did use a GoDaddy template but don't get the PPC comments either???? Am I being dense here? Thanks.

[Seth D Contribution Level: 1]

I would say that the site needs a bit more structure. The fonts start in black then quickly change to blue and then on to red and green.

It's ok to have different colors, I would organize them a little better. One thing that I did when I started making my own capture pages and sales letters - was to model EXACTLY how successful sites were structured.

There is a certain rhythm that successful sites have - I would find them and copy the fonts, the size, the format, the testimonial boxes, ect. There really is no need to start from scratch. I'm not talking about copying the content - just the format. Use it as a guide.

My second suggestion comes from they saying : Facts tell, Stories sell... I've heard numerous people teach this concept for recruiting - but when it comes to copywriting I believe it rings true as well.

Again, looking at many of the popular marketing systems and sales letters - they have a brilliant story weaved throughout the page. My friends DK and Jimmy also call it My Story Marketing.

Here's a few questions you want to ask yourself as you edit this page or start a new one:
- who EXACTLY is your target market
- what challenges / problems are they experiencing
- what keeps them up at night? what are they afraid of?
- how does your product help solve their problem?
- what is your product / services Unique Selling Proposition

These questions (and many more) are all essential to having answers to BEFORE crafting a powerful offer.

You do have a start and for that I would pat you on the back... many people don't get started and have the courage to ASK for further assistance. Keep coming back and asking for help / feedback - this community ROCKS and we'll help you along the way!

Seth

PS. if you need some suggestions on sites to model - let me know and I'll send over a few that I would recommend.