You Only Get One Opportunity to make a First Impression

Group: Social Media & SEO 2.0

Written by Kevin Phoenix on Nov 14, 2009 2:38 am

Read More: Social Content

You only get one opportunity to make a first impression.... think about it.

Consider when developing a presence in any social network how easy it may be to create offense… however inadvertent.

You will know that most social web sites request personal details when applying for membership; invariably there is a request for your personal name. Names are displayed in different ways in different societies and if the person with whom you would like to correspond originates from a different part of the world you may offend them in the way that you address them

For example, I’m British (don’t you know).

My family name is Phoenix and my given names are Kevin and Ashley (which used to be considered a very masculine name, but in some societies is now a girl's name).

I’m male and well past the age of majority.

In days gone by a stranger, when addressing me, would have called me Mr. (Mister) Phoenix. My friends call me Kevin (to my face), or sometimes Kev’ – but I prefer Kevin.

In my father’s day it was quite commonplace to greet an older friend by their family name… “hello Phoenix, old boy”.

And in some parts of British society a person in service is addressed only by their family name, as in “hold my horse, Phoenix” (in that haughty upper-crust British tone that must have started many a war).

But times move on and when called “Phoenix” in school, it was quite often because I was in trouble.

In today’s world, if I announce my name as “Kevin Ashley Phoenix” it could be assumed that: Kevin is my first given name. I may be addressed by my first given name. I may be of mixed gender. And if someone were to address me by my family name, I might feel uncomfortable.

Here are some other examples of how people around the world write their names and where individuals might be offended…

Wang Jianzhou (China) – Wang is the family name, but which should you use to address him/her?

José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (Spain) – Rodriguez was his mother’s family name and Zapatero was his father’s family name.

Carnot Marie François Sadi (France) – Carnot was his first name and it is that of his family. Marie (male or female) is the first given name, but he (as it happens) prefers to be addressed as M.(Monsieur) Sadi Carnot… until such time as he invites you to call him Sadi (which is unlikely… he died in 1894).

Once you know how a person likes to be called, don’t abbreviate it.

I have a friend of some 40 years, his first given name is Michael, which in my society is commonly shortened to Mike or Mick. With the exception of his wife and myself, all his friends address him as Mick – but he much prefers Mike (wouldn’t that get under your skin eventually?).

How do I know he prefers Mike?

I asked him.

So when first making contact with your social contacts, ask them how they like to be addressed.

Don’t assume… to assume makes an ASS out of yoU and ME.

How do you like to be addressed in this Group?

The next published article is "Educate, Enlighten and Entertain"