Follow Me On
"From Ripped Blue Jeans To Ripping Holes In The Great Lie..."
When I was a teenager I dreamt of starting my own band, writing songs and galavanting across the nation in search of rock n roll glory.
At the age of 18 I started a band in which I was the primary musician, writing all of the music, lyrics and was the singer/ guitarist. I started out with my head on straight and my eyes on the prize. I was writing music that people seemed to really enjoy and with each passing year the shows got bigger and better.
During the day I worked 11 hour days as a Landscaper and did everything from cutting grass, to planting grass, laying sod (green side up), mulching, fall and spring clean-ups. In the spring I had a few bucks, in the summer I was broke, in the fall I had a few bucks and in the winter I was layed off, broke and praying for snow so I could make some money plowing.
My evenings were dedicated to the band. Sometimes I went straight to practice from work, without having time for a shower, or to eat. Most days I couldn't tell you what day it was. If you were to ask me what I was up to the following week, I'd tell you that I'll find out when I get there.
It was a grueling cycle... metally, physically and financially.
As with any band, different faces came in and out of the fray through the years. There were always only 3 of us, so when someone left, rebuilding was a do or die reality. I'm certainly no stranger to having to "rise up from the ashes" so to speak.
In 2000 at the age of 23 I released my first full length album titled, "The Damnedest Thing". A title that reflects some of the most unusual things I've been witness to and narrowly avoided. The only sense I can make of them is that somebody upstairs really wants me to stick around down here.
At any rate, the album included 17 of my best songs as well as a "rocked out" version of Chris Isaak's, "Wicked Game". We rode the momentum of that album for as long as it would take us.
As with all things business like (yet disguised as rock bands) as the demands grew bigger, the time for creativity grew less. I had come to the realization that I was surrounded by people who's goals in life fell far short of what I had in mind. I couldn't help but feel that I was somehow cheating the very people who had been paying $5 bucks at the door to see me and who I had grown to adore.
I had a feeling inside that I can only equate to someone who no longer loves their own child. A huge part of who I am was dying with every breath.
In December 2006 I searched online for an opportunity to work from home. I desperately wanted some way to produce income that would free me from the binds of working 11 hours, six days a week as a landscaper. If I could do that, I could dedicate more time to rekindle my love affair with music and remain the creator I had been for the past 11 years.
I remember speaking with a very nice guy, who eventually became my sponsor in my first and only Network Marketing Opportunity. I told myself with sincere belief that I could do this as long as I had someone to guide me.
It was a tough transition for me. I had never been a professional anything before really. Now I was in a position where I would be attempting to sponsor people into business, when I myself had no experience what so ever. I was in the midst of a winter lay-off from my job, serving probation for a D.U.I, dealing with those fines, extremely short on cash and not feeling good about the band I had once loved.
2 months later I did the unthinkable... I walked away from the band altogether. I had not had any success in my Networking business other than sponsoring two friends who quit in their first month. None of the things my upline leaders were asking me to do were yielding any results. I was spending money I barely had and my confidence of being a leader in one industry was now reduced to being a failure in another.
Hell, I couldn't even have the simple satifasction of meeting someone new and telling them about the band because now it would just be a nostalgic lie. I was hesitant to mention the business, because I didn't really know what and what not to say.
"I started to feel as if I no longer knew who the guy in the mirror was anymore..."
I had nothing left but the desire to win in life.
I struggled pathetically through month after month trying to employ every trick my upline had up their sleeve for me. Not one of them worked.
I started to search online because I knew in my heart of hearts that if I was going to build this thing, it would have to be in a way where I could leverage technology to work for me, while I continued to trade time for very little money in an I job I had grown to despise. A job I desperately wanted to turn obsolete.
I didn't own a home, I didn't drive a nice car. I had a college degree that was virtually useless. I had to move back in with the folks 3 times throughout my 20's. Not a glamorous life by any stretch of the imagination.
I didn't believe for one second though, that a person's purpose in life was to work until they couldn't work any longer, just to die shortly thereafter. I was no longer willing to participate in the age old tradition of trading my precious youth in exchange for a dissatisfied retirement. It's a lie and I've always known that.
However blue-collar Pennsylvania seems to think that this is perfectly okay... and normal.
I still had that fire inside though. I'm not a loser. I never was. I wasn't going to start being one at that point either, I was determined to rise up from the ashes once again... even if it meant a total reinvention of who I was.
After months of failure, I had withdrawn completely from working my business. I no longer attended training calls. Hell, I had heard enough to know that they don't change all that often. I stopped all communication with my upline too.
Under the radar, I searched alone to find the right way to build my business. It was June 2007 when I stumbled upon a marketing website promising a way to "Attract an Endless Stream of Highly Qualified Distributors". Magnetic something or other.
I looked at the page, I looked in the mirror. "Screw it, I'm broke anyway," I thought. "Im sure I'll learn something I haven't been taught."
"What happened next changed the entire course of my life..."
... from my beliefs about who I was, to actually knowing that I already had what it takes to succeed in life and in this business..
The only difference being is that now I could surround myself with people who want it just as much as I do, while separating myself from those who sucked off of my energy and told me what could and could not be accomplished.
I'm not afraid of tough times... and lord knows I don't blame anyone for the ones I've had. Something in that magnetic book had reinstilled a belief I had known all along....
I've gotten everything I've ever asked for in life. I just wasn't asking for the right things, or enough of them.
"My how things, people and belief systems can change..."
Today I am actively in pursuit of real happiness, not just the kind that money can buy, but the kind that comes from realizing how big the world really is. There is so much to learn and I am an eager student. This is a far cry from the guy I was just 2 years ago. I mean jeez, I can remember a time when I couldn't even read a Guitar magazine cover to cover and now I'm reading all sorts of books, both old and new on the ways to acheiving wealth, happiness, and health.
I am no longer that arrogant punk rocker that thought he knew it all. I am humbled by the grace I have seen in the people in the Network Marketing Industry, who contribute so much to the lives of others. I am honored to be a part of it.
I can't even listen to certain songs anymore, because the message within is so loud and clear where it fell silent before... the author blaming things outside of themselves for the hardships they face. Lord knows I could never write some of the ones I've written in the past under my new belief system. Kind of makes you think...
I'm sure I'll play in a band again, but not until I can pay forward some of what I've learned to someone else... that special person searching to uncover the Great Lie for themself. This isn't about me anymore...
"... but I do give myself permission to not make it 'about me'. "